I Apologized...

I have apologized for too much...

I apologized for too much, yet the same things continued to happen. I apologized for your actions when I’m not the one you made the decision to make those actions. I apologized for your anger when I wasn’t the one who got mad. I’ve apologized my whole life and never got anything in return for my apology other than the same actions and hate that I’ve always received. I apologized when I was right even though the apology was unnecessary. I apologized for the way I felt when I had every right to feel that way. I apologized when I was hurt when I didn’t hurt myself, you did. I apologized for how you acted because I thought I had to. I apologized when my thoughts and beliefs went against what your thoughts and beliefs were because if I didn’t, there was going to be a huge argument.

I apologized for starting over and moving on because if I didn’t, everyone would have hated me and made me an outcast otherwise. I apologized when I stood up to you and you didn’t like it, so you threw a fit. I apologized for my mental state even though my mental state was based off how you treated me, yet you took zero accountability for it. I apologized when I found my inner peace because you couldn’t control me and my life anymore. I’ve apologized for how terrible you were to me because I thought that it was necessary and because you weren’t going to apologize for your actions. I apologized for finding my own independence when you refused to help me. I apologized for the countless nights you made me cry myself to sleep but screamed at me more for even letting a single tear fall from my eyes.

I apologized for the strength I found to get out of your toxic house so I can be a better person than you because I knew I didn’t want to turn out to be like you. I apologized just to keep the peace, but it ended up slapping me in the face when you did the same things over and over again. I apologized for constantly apologizing because it kept making you angrier when I did. Now, I will no longer apologize for anything you attempt to make me feel bad about. I now know that I didn’t do anything and that it was you this whole time that needs to change.

You did so much damage and you made me apologize for everything you did. I will no longer apologize for what you did. I know that I’m a good person and I have a whole life ahead of me to prove I can be better than you and your actions. I know I can be the real me and not this person you attempted to mold me into. You need to change, not me. I didn’t do anything for you to act the way you do. You did everything yet somehow put the blame on me to avoid taking responsibility. You made me into this monster when the real monster is you. I did everything right. I did everything right and perfect even when you didn’t think so. I apologized for everything because you made me believe I wasn’t a good person and that everyone would hate me. I apologized when I didn’t have to apologize for anything. It was you this whole time. You dragged me down to your level because you were alone, and you wanted someone to feel as bad as you did. No more apologizes from me. You’ve gotten enough from me. Now, I’ m going to be the bigger person and never talk to you again.