My Story

Losing my parents was one of the hardest things that could have happened to me. I was a child and I needed them to guide me to be the right person that I needed to be. My parents were my best friends, and they were supposed to be there to watch me grow up. I shouldn’t be dwelling on the past but sometimes its hard when a birthday, a holiday or the anniversary of their death rolls around. It’s been 15 years since I lost my mom and 14 years since I lost my dad and to this day, the pain hurts just as much as the day I lost both of them. My mom died May 4th, 2006 and my dad died March 19th, 2007. It’s hard going through life without them.

The day I lost my mom, I was so confused. I didn’t know what was going on. I was only 6 and no one explained what was wrong with my mom and why I couldn’t see her. I just wanted my mom. I wanted to know if she was okay. I wanted to hug her but instead I was in the backseat of a car driving away from my grandma’s house. I loved my mom like every other kid my age does. I don’t remember much of the day my mom died. All I know was I was being driven away from my grandma’s house then the next thing I know is that I was at the funeral for my mom and grandma. It may seem pretty sad but honestly I think that it was a good thing I didn’t remember much. Of course I remember all the good memories that I had with her. How could I forget those? I’ll always remember getting corn from the corn field and boiling corn on the cob. That’s how I know how to make corn on the cob. I will always love my mom. I’ll always miss her too and I know she’s watching over me today. I hope I’m making her proud with everything I’ve done.

With my dad, I remember a little more than I did with my mom. I remember Christmas without mom the year she passed. I got quite a few toys that I really wanted that year. I remember my dad recording my brother and I opening our gifts on a camcorder. I begged my dad to allow me to see the video. I also remember going to a family dinner that my dad’s side of the family was having. I don’t remember what for. The day my dad died was probably hard for one of my other cousins to watch because he kept repeating that he loved my brother and me. He was laying in a hospital bed hooked up to a bunch of wires with a tube down his throat to breath. The only reason I know he said he loved me, and my brother was because one of my cousins that were in the room had to get really close to his mouth and listen to what he was saying, and she repeated what he said. I will admit I was a major daddy’s girl up until the second my dad passed away. I love him and miss him so much and I really hope that he’s proud of what I’ve accomplished this far in my life.

After my dad passed, I don’t remember much of what happened. All I know was I was staying with the one cousin who treated me like complete garbage until I turned 18 and moved out. She was 36 at the time and at first things were going great until I turned 9. That’s when the “hell” started. She treated me like I was a paycheck and like my brother was god’s gift to the world. She always said the reason why I got into trouble was because I “liked being in trouble” and I “liked staying home all the time” when that honestly wasn’t the case. She literally always found a reason to ground me and keep me home all the time. Yeah I would be a kid and lie about things because I didn’t want to get in trouble, but I barely lied about things. She would also say I was constantly stealing things that belonged to her when 99% of the things I “stole” as literally things that she refused to give back to me.

One of the things that I was grounded for was my room being messy. She never told me to clean my room until after she grounded me and searched my room. I couldn’t have paper, pens, pencils, markers, etc. without her saying I was “wasting paper.” One thing I don’t like talking about is when I was 12, I had lied about something and continued to lie like any other 12-year-old did and my cousin grabbed me by my hair and pulled me around the entire house. She went and told people that I had threatened to kill her because she kept telling me to tell the truth and that’s why she pulled me around the house when in reality, that’s not what really happened.

Once I turned 18, about to turn 19, I had moved out and in with my boyfriend and his mom. I’m so glad that I did because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be alive today because my cousin would have pushed me over the edge with her mental, emotional and verbal abuse. Now I’m 21. I graduated from high school and am doing really well for myself.