I am so Sick of Hanging out with My Family 24/7

Dear Lex,

Well..idk if I can share all the personal stuff here but I jus need some advice on this..Im an 18 yr old girl..and idk..its jus I feel like I don't really enjoy the company of my family at times..Its probably coz I nvr get to go out with my frnds..Ive had a pretty sheltered life so far..but I gues its coz of my age ..I really want to enjoy life..but..I only end up being with my family..I was kinda used to it so far..but..its been a year now..I spend all my time with them now..coz of Covid obviously at home most of the time..I love my family so much they are everything to me..but..I feel bad for not liking to spend time with them at times..I jus need some advice to clear this thought of my head..also I am not myself around them..so its exhausting and I can't b straightforward with them coz I don't wanna hurt them..wht do I do?

Sincerely,

A

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Dear A,

You're an 18 year old girl and you have been inside of the house for a YEAR with your family.... girllllllllllllll, do not feel bad for wanting to get out and spend some quality time with your friends!! Even though you are 18 years old, you're basically still a kid and I can't name a whole lot of kids who can go a whole year without their friends and not start to feel a little crazy or trapped. Everything that you are feeling is 100% normal. I'm not sure how old your family members are or if you guys share a lot in common but this plays a big factor as to how much time you may or may not like to spend with them as well. Trust me, you should not be feeling bad about wanting to spend your time else where.

You say that you have had a pretty sheltered life and I'm not sure if you mean that even before COVID you weren't able to go anywhere but if its just been since the pandemic started, don't hold it against your family or look at it like being sheltered if you haven't been able to go anywhere. I know its hard because when you look on social media, so many people are attempting to get back to their normal lives and hangout and go places but truly... it just isn't safe and if your family if keeping you inside, its only because they love you. However, your feelings of feeling stuck inside and stuck with your family are still valid. I don't think anyone likes any part of this pandemic.

So unfortunately, as far as getting out of the house right now or letting anyone come over to hangout... if they're not letting you do it, there is nothing you can do but accept that this pandemic is driving all of us crazy! Your best bet is to figure out a way to make the most out of your situation. If too much family time is driving you nuts then shave off some of the time you spend with them, and save it strictly for yourself. Dive into hobbies and projects that can keep you up, moving and entertained. This is a perfect time to figure out what all you are interested in and then really diving into.

Also, with your friends, maybe you guys can do group FaceTiming or zoom and figure out games that you can play over video chat. If you tell them how you've been feeling lately (or maybe they already know) then they should have no problem figuring out at least one day out of the week that you guys maybe spend an hour or two on video chat or just a regular phone call doing fun things. Maybe you could play games talking games Never Have I Ever; online multiplayer board game games on the phone such as Clue or Monopoly; or Watch movies together and binge watch tv shows over video chat. Either way, there are a lot of solutions that you can come to that won't totally make you feel like your life is normal again but I'm sure it will help.

Now lastly, as far as you not feeling comfortable with being your true self around your family... that is a conversation that you should have with them and soon. You are 18 and at some point, they're going to have to get to know the real you from all perspectives. You say that you love them and that they are everything to you. I'm sure they feel the same exact way about you times 10. Even if disagreements happen and maybe you shock them with a little bit of showing all sides of yourself, eventually they will get over it and embrace every part of you.

The same goes for letting them know that you need a little time in your days with out them haha! If they love you, they will understand. Everyone was 18 once and remembers exactly what it feels like.

Don't look at it like " I don't want to hurt them"... look at it like "I want my family to understand me and how I feel and who I am at the core" because that's truly your only intentions. You will feel so much better regardless of what the initial reactions are to whatever and your family will understand. It may seem like a hard bridge to cross but the great thing is that, once you're on the other side... you're there.

As always, thank you guys for reading and all tips are greatly appreciated! All tarot reading requests can be sent to my email [email protected]. To submit a question/info to the advice column section, you can send it through my ask.fm/influencedbylex to be anonymous or to my email for regular submissions.