I Am Pro Black and in Love with a White Man
How I learned that I can love who I want and still love my own blackness.
I'll be the first to admit that I didn't always love my blackness.
It was a process that took me a lot of time. I had to realize that I could love my dark skin and my kinky hair and everything else about myself even if that was an unpopular opinion.
And when I loved my own blackness, it allowed me to love that very same thing about others. But even so, I am still in a serious, committed relationship with a white man.
I don't like to think I have a "type" per se. I've found many different kinds of men attractive. But living, working and going to school in a predominantly white area of Texas makes most of the men that I've engaged with white.
It's like if I had a large pile of shoes and I was looking for a pair that had a specific fit. If most of the shoes in the pile are red and very few are gray, I have a higher chance of finding a red pair that fits the way that I want them too.
I like to think that I have a pretty specific standard of man that I am attracted too, so when most of my candidates happen to be white, it's no surprise to me that I found my soulmate to be a white man.
I personally don't understand how us being together is any kind of negative reflection of how I love myself or my blackness; if anything, I see it as a positive one.
You accept what you think you're worth, and I get treated like I own the whole world by my boyfriend.
I've been told that he will never understand me completely or what I go through as a black women, and this is true. But he honestly tries his hardest to. We have so many deep, intelligent conversations, and I fall more in love with him every time. He goes out of his way to embrace my complexity. He's not afraid of my intensity.
But I think his lack of complete understanding allows him to love me better, because he so clearly sees so much more to me than my blackness. He has learned to love everything that makes me, me, and not just the things that come from my race.
We don't agree on everything. We don't have the same perception. But we share the same core morals and values. We both are open to discuss, to be enlightened.
But he is my best friend. I have never met someone that knows me so well. He loves me so well. He supports me. He cheers me on. He leads me.
I don't understand how someone can limit themselves to only accepting love from specific races. Having a preference is one thing, but feeling like you can only be loved properly by someone based on their skin color seems so crazy to me now.
I think black love is absolutely beautiful. Especially with how both sides are portrayed by the other at times, I think it is amazing to see two black people completely in love. I love to see genuine, healthy love of any kind.
But I think there is something uniquely beautiful about interracial love in a time such as this. When all of America is basically screaming that we're all so different and hateful to each other, I think it's beautiful to watch two different people of any race choose to love each other anyway.
So I love my blackness and yours.
I will stand in the streets and fight for our black children. I will record and questions police abusing their power to torment black men. I will confront and correct any racism as it crosses my path.
And I also love my boyfriend.
In 2019, I should be able to do both.