I Am Never Leaving My Kid Phase

I do not know what it is about my childhood that made me this way. Parents? My sister? Family members? School? I honestly have no idea. I guess it is just the harsh reality of life. Growing up, I guess I had a pretty normal childhood. My parents are alive and not divorced, there is no traumatic death in my life, or even a lost limb that has affected my life. One thing that I did notice was that there were always adults around me at my home and never people around my own age. Of course I had my sister around me but she is 5 years older than me and she was either with her boyfriend or with her friends. My cousins were always older or younger and even they had cousins around their age and I felt more like the odd ball out. I can not blame them though. I have always been introverted for as long as I can remember. I remember that I was always the quiet kid at school since kindergarten and seeing how talkative the kids around me were. During recess there were these two sand pits outside and they were next to each other and there were these three girls playing in one pit and I would see them but I would always end up playing at the one without them and just be by myself. This lead to me only having a handful of friends that I actually talked to and always picked last when it came to group projects. I was not really bullied, there were a handful of times where kids were mean but never for a long period of time. My best friend in elementary school was my laptop so I could watch movies and it basically became my comfort zone. During that time I would see my classmates hanging out with each other and make plans to go to the pool or the movies. I was never invited. This is not a sad story I promise. I guess in a sense, I did not get to live out my childhood dream and hang out with my little friends and go sleepover at their house and stay up watching movies while playing with barbies.

So let us fast forward to present the day. I am now 22 years old and so much happier than when I was a kid, I have a job which means I can buy any meaningless crap I wanted as a kid. That expensive art supplies kit that I wanted as a kid that has markers, crayons, and watercolor? Bought it. That cool looking Lego kit that I always wanted as a kid but my parents could not afford, have it. The best part is that I share a room with my boyfriend so I can decorate it unlike my parents. I did not even have my own room because it was a one bedroom and only they were able to decorate it. They would not even let me put a poster up. The only thing I had to decorate was the top of a small dresser or on the doorframe on my side of the closet. Now I have the freedom to buy my own stickers, stuffed animals, and graphic t-shirts.

Yes, I may be weird to other people my age and to other people I fit just right in. The point I am trying to make is that we have such a small amount of time where we get to live our childhood and then the rest of our life is about being serious and paying bills. I just want to feel like a kid as long as I can before it is too late. There are too many people that want to grow up already but I just want to be the opposite. So yes I will still be enjoying my Disney movies, being happy about simple Christmas lights, and even trick-or-treating on Halloween.