I AM ATHLETE

This show is ground breaking. Watching black men talk about life and walk-through life is breathtaking. Yes, I live through this and have peers to talk to, but it’s something different when you see the barber shop vibes brought to life.

It’s not just jokes either, they tackle some tough issues that we as black men, black people experienced. The host is Brandon Marshall and his team consist of former football players like himself. Chad Johnson, Fred Taylor, and Channing Crowder. They also have, I AM WOMAN with their wives as the host of that segment (I saw one episode and plan on seeing more).

I’m still catching up with the show and there was one episode that got me fixed to the screen. In this episode it’s titled Real Men Cry Too.

That notion that men are machos if they cry their masculinity is stripped is debunked. Think about it, what person has no pain, no emotions? A lot of this comes from upbringing and growing up. If you cry, you’re a sissy or if you cry, you’re soft.

Why cannot I not feel a certain way about something. Some of the “toughest” people have the most pain. Go ahead and curse that person or pull that trigger. All the emotions you held back are caged in and ready to explode.

As you watch this episode go grab a tissue and let the tears fall. These players have gone through a lot. Football players are supposed to be tough and they get tackled and get back up. They are supposed to be beasts. Young athletes, young black athletes watch this. Your body is a temple and part of that temple is allowing grief to help you heal. Allow yourself to break down and get a support system that will help you get back up. In return you go out of your way to make sure they're ok as well.

As the episode starts, they do a check up on each other. A scale from 1-10 checking on family, mental, and business. Who is doing check ups in your life, your friend group, your community? I do the regular how’s it going, ok great fake conversations. From watching this, I had convictions of my own. We need to be each other’s counselors making sure that we on the straight and narrow. If we are not ok, we need to help each other get back to that positive mindset. Go on a trip, write a story, go to a movie, just get away.

Years ago, I had my own personal storm. Two of my friends passed away from terrible accidents and I did not know how to cope. I tried to be strong and I couldn’t. The first storm came in my senior year of high school. My trumpet squad was practicing in our band closet space.

With all the thoughts rushing I couldn’t function. A year ago, he passed away and I had some many regrets. I didn’t go tryout for the baseball team again, I felt as if I let him down. Here as a senior, I was breaking down. On top of it all, we had to be almost perfect with our playing and marching. Comments of others got to me good or bad. I cried and my friend gave me one of the best hugs of my life. He said it was ok, he basically told me that I don’t have to be perfect. He said that my friend (Kevin) would be proud and that I should leave my best on the field. That’s what I did, I did my best. The last note I hit in the Lucas Oil Stadium, my throat sore from playing all the notes, I said in my mind Kevin this is for you.

Fast forward to that summer, I was in a two-week program for college. The program was amazing and gave us a chance at proving to the University that we can manage in college. Prior to the trip, my youth group had a trip. So, the first week was cool, met people, hung out, and so forth. Then it was the weekend. My parents did not want to tell me what happened because I was away at school. While at the youth trip, one of my friends drowned. He was 14/15 years old. Seeing his body gave me chills and the tears flew and I was lost.

Now, freshman year again I bottled up my emotions. I would secretly cry in the comfort of my single dorm room. Purposely looking up sad songs and so forth. Thankfully God was looking out for me and my peer minister and his friend in whom I met in the summer told me about this retreat. I said I midst well go.

On this trip it was amazing. Not only did I learn how to cry and let go, I also saw others do the same and heard stories of their brokenness. Like these four black former NFL football players, I was not alone. I was amongst brothers and sisters who would go through the storms with me. As a result, today I’m in leadership roles I never would have dreamt of and I’m able to mentor the youth.

These men say I AM ATHLETE and I say about myself that I AM A BLACK MEN WHO CRIES and I will CRY whenever I want and wherever I want to.