Husband Shopping

I will be 32 in February. The saying, “you’re not getting any younger” is beginning to sink in. Plus, my recent career has given me a little extra time. Therefore, I have decided that it is time to start dating again.

Let me start by stating the obvious: Virtual dating is EXHAUSTING!!

I wasn't prepared for the overload of messages that may lead absolutely nowhere. The ones that jump right to a first date are too fast. Getting to know someone is time-consuming and mind-absorbing. Talking to only one person at a time just for it to become nothing is poor utilization of the site. Remembering the details of each individual when talking to more than one is enough to drive anyone to the bottom of a wine bottle. Most people look nothing like their profile pictures. Some will lie about weight and height. The most annoying part is that a connection must be felt and reciprocated in person, in real life. We play these dating sites like a really bad video game.

A friend recently told me about a site called Match.com that people are more serious about. It cost me $40 to subscribe for a month. However, the investment is worth it when searching for something more long-term. My friend actually fell in love and became married after just a few months. After being single for quite some time, I think it's time. Let the husband shopping begin.

I am only a couple weeks and a couple dates in so far. I took last week off because it was exhausting. These experiences should not be kept all to myself. Going forward, I am going to write about each date in vivid details and share them here.

When I first started, it was difficult to keep up with simultaneously talking to so many guys. My friend shared an interesting technique that I will test out soon. I was only sharing my phone number with a guy or two at a time, to avoid confusion. However, that has been an opportunity cost because I wasn’t eliminating dates fast enough.

My friend advised me to save a screenshot of each guy’s profile picture to their name in your phone. Beside each saved name, put his occupation to help identify him. Save all the texts to look back on so that remembering conversation details isn’t a problem. Obviously, only the candidates I am actually interested in receive my phone number.

If I am really going to utilize this site efficiently, I need to step up my game. Instead of focusing on one individual at a time, I have to multitask. I need to maximize my dates per week as well. Why let one guy take me out per week as opposed to scheduling three or four different guys taking me out per week? After all, I’m not sleeping with any of them. It is simply a meet and greet to find out if there is a connection in person.

So far, there has not been a reciprocated connection.

I will never settle for mediocre again. Mental and physical attractions are necessary. He has to be ambitious and goal-oriented. I am oddly attracted to guys that are at least 6 feet tall, even though I am only 5’1. A guy that can hold an intelligent conversation would be awesome. Financial stability is absolutely required. It would be very difficult for me to deal with any baggage, as I have very little of my own. A man with chivalry and work ethics is a turn-on to me. Self-awareness is important. It is not a bad thing to know exactly what you like, mentally and physically.

Hopefully trying this new strategy will improve my odds as I search for a relationship. Follow me as I dive into the potential husband pool. My next husband shopping story will start with Match #1, the Psychiatrist.