How to Stop Feeling Jealous in a Relationship

Healthy personal relationships bring friendship, humor, and passion to both partners' lives, making them one of life's greatest pleasures. When you have a trusting relationship, it acts as a lifeboat, anchor, and sail, keeping you floating, safe, and fulfilled. When envy erodes your partner's trust and respect, the relationship becomes a burden that stifles personal growth.

Understanding how to stop being jealous in a relationship is essential for a happy marriage. Whatever baggage the other person brings, you can work on yourself to overcome jealousy and form a meaningful bond. 

Why Are You Jealous?

To truly understand how to not be jealous in a relationship, you must first recognize that it isn't about your partner – it's about you. You will need to be more self-aware of your own belief systems, attitudes, and feelings, and then learn to reshape them.

Jealousy in relationships stems from a lack of self-esteem. When you don't believe in yourself or that you deserve your partner's love, you project your insecurities onto them. These are repressing – false beliefs we have about ourselves and our true natures that keep us from moving forward. You'll be able to stop being jealous once you've learned how to replace them with empowering beliefs and confidence.

There could be other issues causing your jealousy. If your partner betrayed your trust, you may become envious when they interact with a member of the opposite sex or go out with their friends. Sure, trust must be won, but your jealousy is most likely motivated by insecurity caused by your partner's behavior.

If you're envious of your partner's success, perhaps there's a disordered area of conflict that needs to be removed, or you need to examine how you feel about your own achievements. But in each of these situations, you're inevitably trying to project your fears and anxieties onto your partner – and it's your character flaws that need to be addressed.

How to Eliminate Jealousy in Your Relationship

BE HONEST ABOUT THE IMPACT OF JEALOUSY

If you continue to ignore a problem, you will never be able to solve it. Be honest rather than having to pretend you aren't jealous or that your jealousy isn't a problem. How do your insecurities make you feel, and how are they affecting your relationship? It may be tough to admit the problems your envy is causing, but take solace in knowing that you're taking baby steps toward a stronger relationship.

Ask Difficult Questions

A family therapist's perspective on how to stop being jealous is provided by Psychology Today: Instead of viewing your jealousy as a problem, consider it a solution. Jealousy (or any other relationship issue) is a window through which we can see the truth. Humans have a strong sense of emotion, which is the source of both our happiest moments and our innermost heartaches. We formed these emotions for a reason: they are there to inform us.

Rather than outright suppressing jealousy, try to understand it first. What issue is jealousy attempting to solve? Working backwards from there will assist you in determining how to stop being jealous. You can solve the problem by getting to the root of it.

The Six Human Needs

Your jealousy is  telling you something about your Six Human Needs. These are the requirements that must be met in order to have a satisfying relationship. They are at the heart of every decision we make – and jealousy is a choice. It is not the result of your partner's actions or anything done to you in the past. It's the result of your distinct values and mindset. You can learn to control it, but you must first address the source of the problem: your own ideas, feelings, and needs.

Identify Your Insecurities

The first step in learning how to stop being a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend is to examine yourself. What insecurities are fueling your envy? Are you self-conscious because you strive for perfection? Do you make comparisons with others? You're not making this list to put yourself down; rather, you're owning your role in the relationship.

Improve Your Self Confidence

Make a list of the insecurities that are causing your jealousy, and then write down an antidote for each one. Make a list of all the qualities your partner admires in you if you're living in the shadow of your partner's ex. Unfollow celebrities on Instagram for a week if you are constantly comparing yourself to them.

Think About the Origin of Your Insecurity

Learning how to not be jealous in a relationship is frequently a matter of healing old wounds. If you're dealing with jealousy as a result of an unresolved issue, such as a childhood trauma or addiction, get the help you need to overcome it. With the right support, you can turn your difficulties into sources of strength.

Be Honest With Your Partner

If you're dealing with jealousy, your partner has most likely noticed. Your partner is almost certainly contributing to the problem as well. By using effective communication, you are recognizing your contribution while also finding ways to build an honest and trusting relationship.

Find Healthy Ways to Cope

It can be difficult to let go of envy in relationships if you don't have healthier ways of relating. If your partner isn't giving you a reason to be suspicious or jealous (for example, by cheating on you or lying frequently), it's up to you to tame the source of your jealousy. Recognize that you don't require jealousy; you're simply accustomed to it. Self-care is important for your physical, emotional, and mental health. When healthy coping mechanisms are prioritized, they become the standard and in the end, they replace jealousy.

To Conclude

Relationships can be difficult but it's up to you to work on the relationship with yourself to prevent you from projecting your insecurities onto your partner. Be honest, identify the root of your jealousy, talk things through and constantly work on becoming the best version of yourself instead of focusing on trying to control or change your partner. Some jealousy is quite normal however, when it starts to eat away at your happiness and fulfillment, you need to implement strategies to stop your jealousy from destroying your happiness and your relationship or future relationships.