How to Spot a Chronic Liar While Dating Women

Tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable.

Anonymous

It’s tough to discern lying. Sometimes it’s acceptable, and sometimes it’s not.

Lying is one of the most complicated abilities a human mind can do. It is confusing to decode, and you need to have a specific skill set if you want to know who’s lying or not.

Our ability to lie and deceive is facilitated through electrical stimulation in our prefrontal cortex. It is responsible for making decisions whether to lie or not to lie.

The science behind lying faces a great challenge in telling apart a truthful person from a dishonest one. Although polygraph tests are helpful, they are far from perfect.

One unconventional method researchers now use to identify liars is imaging methods. But the thing is, it tells nothing about the lie itself.

What You Should Know About Chronic Lying

Pathological or chronic lying, also known as mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is the practice of habitual lying. Even though it has been known for more than a century now, there’s still not a clear definition of this condition.

Pathological liars can always lie for no reason, and this kind of behavior can result from an underlying mental condition. Specifically, people suffering from an antisocial personality disorder, or what is also called sociopathy, are more likely to become pathological liars.

On the other hand, head injuries or trauma also play a role in pathological lying, and people having an abnormality in the hormone-cortisol ratio may be affected as well.

What Defines a Pathological Liar

A compulsive liar is a pathological liar.

Because it’s nearly impossible to tell a liar and a truthful person apart, here are some scientifically recognized characteristics of pathological liars.

1. They sometimes believe their own lies.

A clear manifestation of self-deception.

They lie so easily as if they're singing their favorite song. Being used to so many lies, there are instances when they aren't conscious enough about it. In effect, they eventually believe in it.

2. They don’t benefit from their lies.

Some choose to lie to avoid embarrassment, confrontations, uncomfortable situations, or to get out of trouble. But pathological liars don’t need to have a motive at all.

Even if they don’t see an advantage from lying, they’d still do it anyway.

3. They play the victims.

Other than lying, playing the victim is a role they like to play.

This simply explains why they make up things geared to give them more attention, admiration, sympathy, and even acceptance from the people around them.

4. They are great storytellers.

The fake scenarios and stories they create in their minds tend to be complicated and dramatic. Wanting to gain more attention than what they’re already receiving, they always manage to come up with lies that are detailed and can even be over-the-top.

Surprisingly, they would always sound so convincing. And this makes them good liars.

Signs You’re Dating a Pathological Liar

You can always date a chronic liar, and you won’t even notice. Knowing that the art itself is deception, you’re less likely to detect one as your judgment might be clouded by your emotions.

Deception impacts your relationship negatively, mainly because it hurts. It destroys the credibility of your relationship, and trust gradually becomes harder for you to give.

To describe lying as upsetting is an understatement. Relationships are more doomed to failure once lying and deception come to light. No matter how strong a bond is, it can shatter the minute the truth comes out.

Here are the signs you’re dating a chronic liar:

• She claims to be the victim.
• She says things to emphasize herself more.
• She doesn’t show signs of lying at all.
• She retells someone’s story as her own.
• She covers a lie with more lies.
• She is misled from the actual truth.
• She is almost always defensive.
• She dodges questions to avoid exposure.
• She enhances a simple story to a more complex one.
• She tells you about her experiences that make her look heroic.
• She craves sympathy, attention, admiration, and the like.
• She answers your questions quickly but vaguely.
• She forgets a few details every now and then, making her stories and claims almost a different version every time.

Telling Chronic Lies and White Lies Apart

According to research, we tell an average of 1.65 lies every day, and most of these lies are what we call “white lies.”

On the contrary, chronic lies are told habitually and persistently, which tend to be ineffective and endless.

To differentiate the two better, take note of the following:

1. Chronic or Pathological Lies

• told compulsively
• told without reason or benefit
• done repeatedly
• used to make the liar become the hero or a victim
• not hindered by the risk of getting exposed
• not hindered by the feeling of guilt

2. White Lies

• nontoxic
• harmless
• doesn’t have the ability to offend
• no malicious intent
• told to get out of trouble or avoid embarrassing confrontations and uncomfortable situations

The Significance of Lies in Relationships

Lies, regardless of how big or small, have the potential to ruin something good. It’s just impossible for us to be completely honest about everything because we’re likely to hurt someone else’s feelings if we do.

At the same time, lies are a way to protect ourselves from situations that aren’t helpful at all.

The complexity of life itself teaches us when it is best to lie, how we should tell a lie, and when we should admit a lie. And that is what we should understand and go through as mature individuals.

All of that said, you don’t have to pressure yourself to be an open book. Know that you don’t owe people personal information about yourself, even your relationship partner.

Keeping something to yourself isn’t the same as lying. It is only a reflection of your self-identity and how you don’t let it be dictated by your relationship.

To sum up everything, lying becomes bad once you use it mainly for your advantage. Respect your relationship by valuing honesty towards each other.

In love, there’s one simple rule: Don’t lie.