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How to spend the poor and confused years of your twenties?

Life should take a detour, you can not miss a step

By Fra TushaPublished about a year ago 6 min read


I saw this question on a chat app and after thinking about it, I think I'm still qualified to answer it.

I just graduated five months ago and have experienced the panic of being overwhelmed and the confusion of not seeing hope. As a newcomer to the workplace, I have not yet developed the skills to be on my own at work, and although I am constantly learning to improve, I am more confused than adaptable.

I am also a member of the struggle in the first-tier cities, and I have all the anxiety, confusion, and pressure of contemporary young people, working overtime, staying up late, and the loneliness of being inseparable, all of which are daily.

I can say that I am the most typical of the three young people: anxiety, confusion, and dark circles under the eyes. I know that these are far from enough reasons for me to answer this question.

The real reason I dare to stand up and answer this question is that, at the same confused and anxious age, my twenties still have a bright spot. More importantly, I have slowly learned to get along with my twenty-something self and get along very well.


On Weibo, "How to spend the poor and confusing years of my twenties?" My seventeenth year was also confused and poor", and another replied: "Maybe your thirties will still be poor and confused".

Yes, we must first of all wake up to this point, not only your twenties are the worst, the world's twenties are more or less the same confusion. Don't think that twenty is the most miserable age, in the eyes of teenagers, teenagers are also miserable, in the eyes of people in their thirties, thirty years old have not as good. A very harsh but have to face the fact that life is not "easy" word.

What people are most afraid of is not the difficulties and setbacks, but in front of the difficulties and setbacks in the shadow of self-pity. You have to have an ambitious heart that can withstand the hardships of the world, rather than being overly soft and only hurting yourself.


No one's twenties is easy to come over, work in the aggravation, suffer; life in trouble, find a way to solve; growing up with confusion and loneliness, endure - these are what you must experience.

So, allow yourself to make mistakes, allow yourself to mess something up, accept that you are in and will be in a long-term state of confusion, accept that you are temporarily poor and ordinary, and then go forward with a strong heart, not afraid of failure.


If you attribute your confusion to your age and expect to muddle through your twenties to solve your problems, then congratulations, when you are thirsty, you will be equally confused. Ultimately, if you do not think of ways to solve it, confusion will always exist.

Twenty years old, you feel that the transition from school to society is difficult, others are looking for work, fighting hard, you want to take it easy, go home and chew the old man, or find a very low wage but the particularly easy job, mix a few hours a day, come home to watch TV shows, play games, life is very comfortable. Even if occasionally there will be confusion, will feel that such a life is very boring, but you will also comfort yourself and say "wait a few years will be good".

A few years later, when your classmates and friends are all thriving in the workplace, you are still you, you will envy them, and also want to try. But the truth is, when you join society again, a few years ago just graduated when you escape from the unaccustomed will be returned to you with more times intensity.

Life should take a detour, you can not miss a step.

You think that growing older can take away your confusion, but in fact, no one or anything else can take away your confusion except yourself.

For confusion, you have to break through, not wait. If you feel that the road ahead is long, then try more to see if you can kill a bloody road; If you do not know which road to choose right, then go to the one you want to choose the most, and then stick to it; you feel that the current life is so difficult, feel that you can not hold on, then try to give up before taking a few more steps.


Many times, the main reason why young people in their twenties are confused is that they are too focused on others. But frankly speaking, other people just graduated from a five-figure monthly income, other people opened a company to start a business, other people as their boss, and other people's daily life like a movie, these have nothing to do with you.

You certainly need to have motivation but letting motivation become your burden and pressure to move forward is not necessary.

Like my college roommates and I, four people in different cities, all have their own choices. They rarely say they envy me for developing well because they understand that any onlooker, I usually bear the kind of pressure: staying up until two or three o'clock to sleep is the norm, every day after work to read and write, alone outside, back home from work lonely feeling like a shadow, sometimes want to go out to the movies and dinner can not meet friends together ... ...

And I, too, admire the courage of my roommate to go to Xiamen alone for love, but I also know that I can't make such a big bet for love that I don't know where the future lies.

I also envy the roommate who gets off work at five o'clock every day, but I know that such a life is not what I want ......

Other people's choices may seem good, but they don't necessarily suit you; other people's lives are good, but that's no reason for you to be anxious and confused. Everyone has their way of life, it doesn't matter how good or bad it is, that's all.

What's more, life is rarely perfect, and while we enjoy the good that comes from our own choices, we must also accept that it's not good enough.

I know it's hard to not envy others, but there is no fixed template for life in your twenties, and you don't have to envy others' lives.

In your twenties, confusion is the norm, but it is also dynamic and variable. You just have to accept your choice and stick to it. As long as you are willing to make an effort to make changes, those who make you bad state will slowly get better.


About the Creator

Fra Tusha

stay hungry, stay foolish.

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