How to prove reality isn’t an illusion or simulation

I put you in scare quotes in the title, to show my distrust of the concept of you, or rather my confusion.

See, I’ve been reading about solipsism.

It’s one of the more extreme branches of skepticism— taking several steps beyond “we can only know what we can prove with empirical testing and observation” and leaping into “we can’t even prove the physical world exists”.

Solipsism is the philosophy that asserts that the ONLY THING that one can know for certain is one’s own self.

That’s it.

Nothing else is certain or verifiable.

It’s that “I think therefore I am, but the world I think I see and know could be all in my head—“ philosophy.

All the other things in the world, (and all the other people) could be illusion or fantasy.

The things we take for granted as existing based on observation of the supposed world around us and the things we hold to be empirical fact, these are built off external observations which cannot be internally qualified or confirmed as authentic. Solipsists remind “us” that our senses could be manipulated or faulty, (or atleast solipsists remind me, jury’s still out on whether you exist at all).

That’s right. Solipsists taught me that YOU— the supposed person reading this right now— you might be a figment of my imagination. You may seem real to me but I can’t prove you are real beyond any and all doubt.

Now if you exist, you might be thinking “Sam, quit being a dumbass. I definitely exist, I know it for a fact”…

I suppose that could be true… for you. If you do exist then I suppose you prolly would know it for a fact. But how can I know it? I have no first hand perception of your personal sense of self. And how can I trust what you might tell me of it? For solipsists, self report measures are never valid, because you could be part of the illusion of reality.

Perhaps you and all the other people of the world, and the world itself, could be a grand computer program that passes the Turing test.

Or all of you so called people, you could just be a magical illusion, cast upon me by some sorcerer or witch or god.

I know that sounds silly. But solipsists don’t care about what sounds silly or cringe. All they care about is trying to determine what can be known to be true, and for them the only thing an individual can prove is that they exist, but they can’t prove it to anyone else, they can only prove it to themselves by thinking and noting that they are in fact thinking.

So if you can and do think, then you know you exist. Trouble is, you can’t know I exist.

I may seem real but all of reality could be a farce. For all you know this could be one big, very boring dream from which you will wake at any moment.

Or maybe, you got so tired of being the sole thinking entity in existence so you decided to just imagine a world and fill it with people— to give yourself entertainment and the illusion of company.

Maybe you bought into your own illusion, out of some desperate loneliness.

I don’t know, yeah that sounds ridiculous and far fetched.

But as batshit as the solipsists philosophy really is, they’re kinda right. You can’t prove the world around you is real.

It could be imagined, illusory, or simulated. You literally cannot prove that anything you see or hear or touch is authentically real.

And honestly, from where I’m standing the real world is starting to seem a little too far fetched to be believable.

Earth Season 2025 was like a poorly written tv-drama. We’re living in the stupidest, most contrived soap opera.

I mean don’t “you” ever feel like shit’s so weird it can’t be real?

I mean look at how humanity knows for a fact global warming is fucking up our planet and yet we still allow the corporate elite to use our planet as a dumping grounds in their ravenous quest for profit. Look at how humanity has gone and stated that people have universal human rights, but how the global powers have allowed the openly maniacal governments of Israel and the United States to commit war crimes with impunity.

Look at how humanity claims children starving is a very bad thing, yet we allow billionaires to skim and hoard wealth to the point of truly mind boggling extremity.

Wild that our species allows governments to bomb people. Wild that our species allows kids to starve to death while simultaneously allowing the extremely wealthy to continue on in vile opulence. Wild that our species allows industrial powers to decimate our natural resources and push our climate further into the red, all so they can chase the wrong kind of green just a little bit further.

If this shit is somehow real it’s so damn absurd it probably shouldn’t be. Know what I mean?

I sometimes wonder if this is all a coma dream or a simulation or a terrible fantasy.

What else can explain how wonky things seem to be?

Maybe the solipsists are right.

Let’s try to put reality to the test with 4 easy steps.

Step one:

Watch your neighbors. Watch 'em like a hawk. I saw a meme a while back (can't remember where) that said something along the lines of "if life isn't one big simulation, then how come you've never seen your neighbors carrying in groceries?"

I think step one in proving reality is real would be attacking that cruel, evil-hearted meme directly. We need to see our neighbors carrying in groceries, to prove to ourselves that reality isn't a facade.

Or atleast, if it is a facade, it’s not a shoddy one.

Solipsists won't accept this as final proof, I guess. But at the very least it will help us establish that the Reality Facade isn't clumsy enough to literally never show us something as mundane and univeral as our neighbors bringing home groceries.

So watch your neighbors. Don't be too obvious about this.

Because if they are in fact real, they may get weirded out when they see you staring at them through the binoculars.

And that could lead to real (or simulated) legal consequences for you, the thinking entity.

You may want to invest in some more subtle spy gear: a tactical turtle neck at the very least. Or you can pretend to rake your lawn and cast subtle glances at their home every other swipe.

Whatever it takes, to investigate this issue! Reality might be slipping and neighbors never carrying in groceries would be one possible tell.

Step 2 (A):

If you watch your neighbors diligently but never prove they carry in groceries, then you need to up your spycraft. Try to be sure they're not slipping in through side windows or back doors or secret undeground tunnels. If you manage to maintain a perimeter of infrared trip wires and concealed listening devices and prove that no groceries enter your neighbor's home over a period of several months then you have essentially proven reality is a farce.

At this point you have a choice, to either despair and suffer a psychotic break, or try to forget all about it and just double down on this fake reality being the real deal, for the sake of your peace of mind.

Step 2 (B)

If you managed to observe your neighbors carrying in groceries, congrats! You've made it farther than many solipsists.

But how can we prove that your observations were accurate and authentic?

Move on to Step 3!

Step 3

You can't! Haha, that sucks.

But any semblance of normalcy coming from your careful observations of the neighborhood, well all those observations could be contrived, manipulated by a higher power, or straight up hallucinations on your part.

So at this point it's still possible solipsism is correct.

Is there anything we can do to prove reality is real?

I’m asking. Step three is: help me out folks— convince me solipsism is bullshit.

Please help me out here, I feel like my face is melting in an existential crisis.

Fuck solipsism for doing this to me.

And if you successfully argue against solipsism, it doesn’t really matter if you convince me. After all I could be a figment of your imagination.

BUT isn’t it possible that in trying to convince me, you may convince yourself?

Step 4

Snap out of it.

Solipsism is silly bullshit. Skepticism is cool and all, but taking that to the extreme of "hey bruh, all of this might be pretend" is not only unhelpful, it's also wacky.

Let's ask two quick questions of solipsism.

1. Why? As in: why would such an elaborate fake exist, and why would the sole thinking individual be subject to it?

There's no good reason for any of that, so in the manner of happy skeptics, we can reject that notion as, once again, silly bullshit.

Now, solipsists may insist that a lack of explanation doesn't disprove anything. They're right of course. But on to question 2:

2. Who gives a shit? Whether real or not, it seems real and the most likely thing is that it is real, so the most sensible thing is to assume it is.

Fuck solipsism for claiming an impossible to disprove stance, but I guess that's kind of their point.

In closing, I’ll leave you with that famous quote “I think therefore I am” translated back to Latin:

Cogito, ergo….

Uh…

Shit I can’t remember the last word.

Um.

Cogito, ergo…

Sumthin’ sumthin’