How to Get Over the Break Up With Your Loved One

Separating from a person you have sincerely loved can be extremely painful. Whether you were the one who initiated it, or your partner was the one who decided, it is a difficult time to go through.

The pain you feel is like the almost physical pain you feel when you lose a loved one. And this is exactly what is happening: for you, from now on, that partner is dead, buried deep in your past.

Separation is a process you have to go through and no matter how impossible it may seem to you, one day you will come to light again. The first time, the astonishment and the shock suffocate you.

You don't understand clearly what's going on, one question after another comes to mind, each meaningless: "how can something like this?", "Why me?", "What did I do to make this happen?" I'm not good enough "," who is the person who tells me these horrible things? ".

The parting catapults you, for a moment, directly into a nightmare, you see your safe and predictable world slowly crumbling around you. Everything is spinning and you have no control over things. Maybe you react like a child, telling your partner "but I don't want to break up", maybe you start crying… Nothing you could do or say doesn't matter at that moment.

You thought you were safe, you thought he was your friend and boyfriend, that you had common plans and dreams, and now everything looks like a castle of playing cards that the wind has blown away…

The breakup will be followed by a few weeks or months in which you are destroyed, even if you have been through this phase before. Think about what you could have done better, what he/she saw wrong, how you could think you were happy while he/she was just waiting for the right moment to let you down!

Thoughts will pile up in your head, they will constantly obsess you and you will have nothing to do to stop them. And that haunting idea will continue to grow in your mind and soul: "Why wasn't I good enough?" Why? At the moment, you don't know that such questions have not been answered, that a breakup may simply mean that the two partners were not compatible; no, at the moment all you want to do is blame yourself because you haven't been and will never be good enough and he/she is a feelingless creature.

The breakup will cause constant interventions from friends to go out and have fun, to see that neither the world is over, nor the stock of men/women!

But these attempts will leave you cold and annoy you, you will think that they have no idea what you are going through and they cannot understand you. Yes, for you, the world is over! Here you go wrong: if not all, at least some of your friends know what you're going through a separation, even if it's not the same for everyone, is a similar process for everyone.

First, there is the shock, then the crazy questions, then the deep depression and lack of mood for anything. Of course, everyone goes their way, but the steps are the same.

You should know that it is normal to have morbid and childish thoughts like "the world is over", but if you withdraw and isolate yourself from the people who love you, you will sabotage yourself and hurt them as well. No matter how impossible it may seem to you to feel any joy, don't lock yourself in the house.

After an acceptable period of "mourning", in which you can afford to cry to your heart's content, take courage and go out into the world. Nobody expects to see you dancing at the table or flirting at a bar with strangers, but try to get some air, to talk to your loved ones.

Separation has perverse effects: although the worst thing for you is to be alone and isolated, this is exactly what makes you want the most! Fight with yourself and leave your refuge! Don't even try to ignore your problem and talk to your friends about the weather, you're worse off. Open up in front of them and tell them how you feel!

At least one of them went through something like that and he will understand you. By simply talking about it, you will relieve yourself of the burden of pain to a certain extent and you will see that you are not the only one on this earth.

Most importantly, give up the torturous "why?" Would you feel better if your partner told you "I want to break up because you have a big nose and because you're very annoying and you're not good in bed"? No, of course, you wouldn't have felt better or worse!

And when the breakup is already in the past, after a month, two, three, you will be able to think more lucidly about your relationship and the person you loved. Did you know that person and if so, was she right for you? Didn't you live that relationship wearing some pink glasses on your nose that stopped you from seeing all the wrong things?

At some point, you will be able to analyze your former relationship and find out for yourself why it might not have worked out. In many relationships, one of the partners may simply not notice certain things that are not going well because he is either too in love or too distracted, preoccupied with other things.

And when his partner tells him that the relationship is not working, he will be shocked! But at some point, he/she will also see those things out of place. Maybe you didn't fit in as a personality, maybe you didn't love each other and it was just a passion, maybe you weren't "meant to be".

And there will come a day, many months or years after the breakup, when you will be able to say with your hand on your heart: "Glory to heaven for breaking up with me"! But until then, you have to learn that the pain is temporary and that nothing can stop you from getting in your way…