How To Get Closure From An Ex Who Won't Talk To You (How To Get Closure After Breakup)

It is very difficult to move forward into a new healthy relationship without closing the door one an old one. However, it is important to note that closure is not an absolute "must have". There will be many situations where, due to circumstances, closure is impossible. Besides, your goal is to get over this bump in the road and move on with your life. If you feel that meeting with your ex will cause you more pain, anger, and frustration than it's worth, then face to face closure may not be a great idea.

After all I've said thus far, if you still desire closure and the opportunity is available, then you can feel comfortable in moving forward and seeking closure. You should also be aware that face-to-face or in-person closure is not always needed, and sometimes the process is better achieved via the phone or-even better-in a letter or email.

Now that we have identified what closure is not and how it should not be used, let's take a look at three items that should comprise our main purpose and objectives. I call them the Three C's of closure.

1. Create

The goal here is to create a landmark for yourself to signify that it's over and that you have no intention of returning ever again. Of course, you don't speak these words; this exercise is for you, not to convey to your ex that you're over them. You shouldn't care what he/she thinks. The simple gesture of a good-bye, I wish you well, spoken from a place of clarity and balance as opposed to anger and frustration, is what we are aiming for. This is the type of traditional good-bye that we are all familiar with. It's less likely to create emotional turmoil or resentment than words spoken in anger.

2. Cooperation

This is where you tie up any loose ends. These are the same loose ends that could have easily been used as excuses when you were not as strong emotionally. The sweater she left behind, or his favorite pair of jeans that he left at your house-this is the time to return them. In short, any financial obligations or items of personal property can now be dealt with.

3. Care

This is the most important part of closure, but the care is not for your ex; it's for you. This is your opportunity to release yourself from any feelings of guilt over breakup. Remember, this is for you, not the other person, so don't feel the need to offer an apology or a lengthy explanation. A simple "I truly am sorry for the way things turned out" is good enough.

If they offer an apology for their part, again, don't go into details, just say "Thank you, I appreciate your apology"

Once the Three C's have been addressed, there is no need to drag it on any longer than necessary. Thank them for their time, give them a quick hug if you want.

Mistakes People Make When Trying to Get Their Ex Back

It's horrible to be left by the one you love. I know how you feel. Miserable. Life doesn't seem to be worth living. You're confused and upset. All of you can think about is getting your ex back. A lot of people in your situation end up doing things that only make the situation worse. Don't you be one of them. Here are some the worst mistakes a person can make when trying to get their ex back.

1. They give in to sadness, depression and fear that they'll never find love again.

Look, I know how you feel. Miserable. Life doesn't seem to be worth living. But it is. You are still loved, by friends and family. And you are still lovable. You're a good person, worthy of love and you will find it. But only if you go outside and sit in the sunshine, and fix your hair and eat well, and take good care of yourself.

We human beings are hardwired to love one another so deeply. Losing someone you love can strike at the core of your being. The panic comes from the fear that you will never be loved again. This, of course, is patently untrue. You're lovable and you will love again.

2. They terrorize their ex by calling, texting or emailing all the time.

After a breakup, learn to be still. Don't call; don't write. Don't bombard them with messages of love or apologies or make promises you cannot keep and may regret. You both need a cooling off period, a time to regain your inner balance.

3. They try to make their ex jealous by pretending indifference or by quickly dating other people?

Don't play games. Making your ex jealous might bring you two back together again, but it could make the breakup permanent. It could make your ex think you never really cared, or that you were desperate to have just anybody. Either way, your ex might decide that they were right to leave.

4. They plot to get back at their ex or somehow hurt them they way they've been hurt.

Sure it could feel good to say hurtful words or strike back. But if you sincerely want your ex back, then what good will vicious words do you? Only drive your ex further away. Don't feed your anger; stir up your love. Stay kind and courteous. You will feel better and increase your chances of getting back together with your ex again.

Suppose you've already made some or all of these mistakes? Well, you can still save the situation -- if you know what to do.

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