How to Endure a Long Distance Relationship

by Alicia Cameron about a year ago in dating

Distance is just a test to see how far love can travel.

How to Endure a Long Distance Relationship

My fiancé and I met online. Yeah, I know. The scary, dangerous place that people say you should never meet someone. Well, of course, you have to be cautious of who you're talking to before you give out too much personal information, but it's like that with anyone, no matter if you meet them in person or online first. This article isn't really about that, though. It's about how my fiancé and I have endured three years as long distance.

The reason my fiancé and I are still long distance after three years is this: we're broke. So, we both still live with our parents, but just because someone lives with their parents shouldn't be a deterrent for anyone who's in the dating game and looking for a life partner. It's also not a reason to judge someone, either. Life's tough to get started with. Some people just take longer than others because they aren't sure what they want to do, and they don't want to waste money going to college just for the hell of it.

Like for instance, both my fiancé and I didn't go to college directly out of high school, just because everyone else did. I had no idea what I wanted to do. Eventually, when I was 22, turning 23 (my birthday is in September), I finally went to college for Graphic and Print Production. However, I've not had luck finding a full-time printing job, no matter the insane amount of places I've applied to. Since 2015, I've had an on-call job at a local print shop, but I can go a long time in between calls, so it's not something I can start a life with. So, that's why I've decided to go back to college, back to the same school I took the last program at.

Anyway. Because of my choice to go back to college, I will be closing the distance with my fiancé. After three years being long distance, we'll have to start getting used to being able to see each other whenever we want. Normally, our schedule is Fridays-Mondays. Or, Fridays-Sundays if I work. We alternate, one weekend he comes here, the next weekend I go there. Our distance isn't THAT great compared to some (an hour and 20 minutes), but it is hard sometimes.

How did we stay together for three years despite not being able to see each other everyday? Here are a few tips:

1) PatienceThis is a big one. Both have to be extremely patient and willing to endure the distance and time apart if you truly see a future with that person. In the end, when you can finally close the distance, it'll all be worth it.

2) Communication

This is definitely important. While my fiancé and I don't have a time difference between us, this does make it easier to communicate. However, sometimes chatting too much can lead to arguments over text or MSN messenger. When this happens, you can either walk away for a while, or fight it out and then come back to apologize and talk normally again. If you really care for them, and they for you, you won't let silly disagreements come between you, even when you're apart.

3) Don't give up.

Even if one of you feels like giving up at some point, the key is to not give up at the same time. Yes, the thought crosses my mind at some points, but he's stubborn enough to want to work things out with me despite my being impatient at times that life isn't moving as fast as I'd wanted it to.

4) Distract yourself with hobbies, work, or friends in between visits with your partner.Since I'm often bored with no work, I have a few hobbies to distract myself with while waiting to see my fiancé again. I like to read, write my novels, crochet, do diamond paintings (not with real diamonds of course, that's just what they're called), cross stitching, and paint by numbers. I also paint sometimes, but I'm not really that great at it.

5) Plan what you can do on your next visit.

Sometimes, you go visit them and you're stuck at home because you're not sure whether you want to get out or just stay home. While staying in is great sometimes, you also definitely want to have adventures with them. Even if this means going a few weekends without doing anything, and then maybe having a night out on one weekend. Often, my fiancé and I will just go to the beaches nearby and look for sea glass. It passes time, and it's fun and free. Or we go for drives to places a little farther away to walk and have a change of scenery. Or, when he's at my place, we might go into the woods on my parent's property for camping or fishing, or even have a bonfire, or game night at my sister's place. Whatever you decide to do with them during your visits can be planned or spontaneous, and of course, within your budget.

So, there are a few tips on how to deal with long distance relationships. Be patient, stubborn, stick it out, and you'll find that one day, you'll be able to celebrate closing the distance with your partner. I wish good luck to all long distance relationships out there, no matter how far apart you are.

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Alicia Cameron

Been into writing for a long time. Thought I could try my hand at writing articles. 

My interests: writing, reading, crochet, needlework, baking, the outdoors, cats 

See all posts by Alicia Cameron