How Long Does It Take to Find Your Soulmate?

Waiting around for Mr. or Mrs. Right to come around is arguably one of the hardest things to do when you’re single. Naturally, we crave finding someone who understands us, and will be the perfect companion to experience life with, but this idea becomes increasingly difficult when we encounter the challenges of dating. Some of the obstacles we face in dating include passionless conversation and failure to connect. In those moments, we wonder what could possibly be the problem, so we end the night in a solo cab ride home, and ask ourselves, “When will we find ‘the one’?”

Thanks to Top10, we don’t have to guess anymore. In their study, they surveyed married couples across the nation to get the inside scoop on the details of their dating lives before they met their lifelong partner. In order to assess how long it took them to find ‘the one,’ they asked two questions: How many serious relationships did they have before meeting their lifelong partner? And how many dates did they go on with their partner to realize they were the ‘the one’?

The findings revealed that on average, women go through 2.46 serious relationships before meeting ‘the one’, while men go through 2.61. This is a standard amount of time, as we must remember that serious relationships can span from several months to years, consuming large blocks of time in any individual’s life. Relationships also offer men and women the opportunity to learn more about what they want and need in their next partner, as well how to communicate those desires healthily. In this way, they also become better partners, which could land them the soulmate they’ve been waiting for.

The married couples also reported similar numbers in how many dates they went on with their significant other to realize they were ‘the one’. The study revealed that on average, women went on 4.66 dates, while men went on 5 dates to recognize the person across from them was their soulmate. Although 4 to 5 dates seems relatively fast to know you’ve found the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with - get this - it only took 1 date for 16% of women, and 12% of men to know they’ve found the one. Let’s tell that to the non-believers in love at first sight!

On the contrary, some of the married participants did not report such quick revelations when it came to finding their true love. Almost 8% of women and 10% of men said it took 10 dates to know their partner was ‘the one’. With this in mind, don’t be discouraged if the person you’re seeing doesn’t electrify you right away. For some, it takes time to build attraction and get comfortable before revealing their true, charismatic personality.

In addition, Top10 also took the liberty of discovering how expensive dating is before meeting their soulmate, with a focus on various cities. They estimated the costs of dates with the assumption that there will be, at some point in the dating timeline, dinner, a movie, a rideshare, and alcoholic beverages involved. According to their findings, the average dating cost in New York, New York (also the most expensive dating city), was $705.80 for women, and $757.30 for men. Nearing $1,000, it’s safe to say dating doesn’t come cheap in the Big Apple. San Francisco, San Jose, and Seattle also topped the list in high dating costs, with averages between $639 to $724. Not only is dating an emotional investment, but also a financial consideration for those seeking out their ideal partner.

If you’d like to learn more about the journey to finding your soulmate and the average cost of dating in your area, check out Top10’s full study. Good luck out there!