How Is Jealousy Affecting Your Couple Life

It seems that jealousy is a fundamental aspect of human social life. Shame, guilt, jealousy, and envy are common human emotions that everyone occasionally experiences in their daily lives. Although people do not welcome these emotions with joy, they are quite normal and serve as useful functions for individuals and their relationships.

Before the 1970s, jealousy was initially seen as a testament to love, but over time, perceptions changed as jealousy was understood as an effect of low self-esteem or a personal defect.

Jealousy is, therefore, a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions that result in threats of self-esteem and/or threats to the existence or quality of the relationship when these threats are generated by the perception of a real or possible romantic attraction between his partner and a rival. (probably imaginary).

Jealousy is a complex reaction that has both internal and external components. The inner components of jealousy include certain emotions, thoughts, and physical symptoms that are often not visible to the outside world. Emotions associated with jealousy may include pain, anger, rage, envy, sadness, fear, grief, humiliation.

Thoughts associated with jealousy may include resentment ("How could you lie to me like this?"), Self-blame ("How could I be so blind?"), Comparison with the rival attractive, intelligent, sexy. "), care for the public image (" Everyone knows and laughs at me. ") or self-pity (" I am alone in the world, no one loves me. ").

Physical symptoms associated with jealousy may include: blood invading the head, sweating and shaking hands, weakness of breath, stomach cramps, fainting, increased heart rate, and trouble sleeping. The external components of jealousy are much more visible and are expressed through certain behaviors: speaking openly about the problem, screaming, crying, being careful to ignore the subject, using humor, taking revenge, leaving, or becoming violent.

People have much more control over the external components of their jealousy than over the internal components. They don't always realize this (and even when they do, they don't always want to admit it), but they can talk - if they want to - about their feelings, laugh at the whole thing, complain loudly about the pain. to get out of the relationship, to suffer in silence or out loud, to try to make their partner jealous, or to throw dishes. When someone is overwhelmed by jealousy, it is important to remember that while it is difficult to control feelings of jealousy, changing the thoughts that trigger them helps us control our feelings.

Most people have significant control over what they decide to do with their jealousy.

Expressing stronger feelings of jealousy is not beneficial in married life. In their constant fear, jealous people can hardly bear to have their partner look at a person of the opposite sex, they tend to comment endlessly on the appearance of a possible rival.

The same person can be extremely rational and self-controlled when interacting with any other individual, to whom he feels only a passing interest.

Strong possessive and jealous people have the following six main characteristics: inferiority complex (jealous person feels inferior to partner), master-slave mentality (jealous person is dictator and master, and subordinate partner), self-destructive behavior (the jealous person is his own and worst enemy), difficulties in taking responsibility (jealous person refuses to admit that he is responsible for his feelings of jealousy and his marital problems), exclusivism (the jealous person is selfish, immature) and anxiety (The jealous person is suspicious and tends to see danger in any event).

Jealousy is different for both sexes. Men tend to deny their feelings of jealousy more, and women tend to recognize and confess their feelings of jealousy more easily.

Men seem to project their jealousy through anger, and women seem more prone to project jealousy through feelings of fear and avoidance behaviors. Men are more tempted to blame their partner, the third person, or the circumstances, and women tend to blame themselves.

Jealous men have a brutal and violent behavior towards their partner, and jealous women have a more verbalized, more persevering, violently oriented behavior, mainly towards the third person.

Jealous men tend to focus on their partner's sexual activity with a third person, and jealous women tend to focus on their partner's emotional involvement in a relationship with a third person.

There are several types of jealousy, some of which are:

• Jealousy - envy: the jealous person perceives his partner as better, with more qualities, superior. This type of jealousy results from exaggerated self-concern, feelings of inferiority, self-pity, depression.

• Jealousy - possessive: the jealous person behaves like an owner with his possession, seeks to maintain his property, and holds power over his partner.

• Jealousy - exclusion: the jealous person feels excluded or neglected by the partner, considering that the couple's partner devotes too much time to professional or social activity.

• Jealousy - competition: the jealous person perceives the partner's achievements as a threat to his self-esteem. The couple's partners must develop a cooperative relationship and not a competitive one.

• Jealousy - egocentric: the couple's partner is accepted as long as it perfectly meets the expectations of the jealous person. This prevents her partner from expressing her individuality.

Jealousy - Anxious: The jealous person feels that the couple's relationship is threatened and experiences a feeling of fear of rejection and anxiety that his partner is very little involved in maintaining the relationship.