How Do I Get My Husband Back After I Cheated (I Cheated On My Husband But I Still Love Him)

There are no one-size-fits-all solutions to salvaging your marriage from the ashes of infidelity. But, there are things you can do that are more likely to get your husband back after you cheated on him than almost anything else you can try. The real skill lies in figuring out which things will be most effective for you in your unique situation.

1) Stroke his ego. Make him understand not only that he is the best man in your book but remind him of all the reasons why you ultimately choose him over the other man. He doesn't want a play by play. But it won't hurt to point out the macho, manly things your husband does so much better and how you respect and admire your husband so much more than the other man. Stroking his ego will gain you plenty of brownie points in this particular situation.

2) Lighten up. As your relationship has progressed from dating to marriage and settling into a long life together, the odds are good that while he still enjoys joking and playing around, you've become a little more serious and less fun. This is the perfect opportunity for you to get out there and really flex your fun muscles. He needs to see that light hearted and care free girl he fell in love with if you want to win him back and keep him around. You cheated. Your marriage has problems. Happily ever after wasn't quite as picture perfect as you had imagined it would be. Now is the time to embrace life and your marriage and build a happily ever after you can both appreciate and enjoy.

3) Flirt with your husband. When was the list time you actually flirted with your husband? Not just a little light banter but full on flirting? This is the time when you need to pull out the big guns. Bat your baby blues (greens, or browns as the case may be), pucker up that pout, and bring on the suggestively outrageous dialog he hasn't heard from you in years. Make him see just how much you want to make this work and he might find himself a much happier participant in your reconciliation efforts.

4) Apologize without condition. A genuine, heart felt apology will do more good for your cause than most women in your situation realize. Don't push the blame on him or offer an apology followed by an excuse. Simply apologize and ask for his forgiveness. The real kicker is that you must be willing to wait for a while until you can earn his forgiveness and rebuild the trust you once shared.

9 Tips to Make Your Marriage Work After an Affair

An affair is the most devastating experience for married couples to go through but after all the pain and sadness, couples have to move on. Some couples end up in divorce after an affair and some chose to stay and work on their marriage. If you are one of those who chose the latter, it is important to know how to make your marriage work after an affair. So how to survive an affair?

Cut all means of communication and stop seeing your lover. Own up to your mistakes, stop the affair immediately and cut all means of contact with your lover. The unfaithful spouse should totally sever all means of communication from his or her lover to create a sense of security to the betrayed spouse. If a chance meeting happened or your former lover contacted you, disclose everything to your spouse and do not leave any details behind. Total disclosure and honesty are important to regain the trust of your spouse and to make your marriage work after an affair.

Do not leave your spouse in the dark about the affair. The unfaithful spouse should answer all queries of the betrayed spouse about the affair. Couples will heal better if all the details of the affair are brought up in the open and the unfaithful spouse honestly provide all the details without holding back any secret. It is hard to make your marriage work after an affair if you will still keep the details of the affair in secret. Discussing and talking about the affair will eventually give the betrayed spouse peace of mind leading to better healing to both of you.

Show empathy to your spouse. An affair is both painful to the adulterous spouse and the betrayed spouse but nothing can be compared to the feeling of being betrayed and cheated. The healing process for the betrayed spouse may take time and the adulterous spouse should show support and empathy to his or her spouse. The cheated spouse may get emotional and may still ask questions even after months or years the affair has ended but you should be always ready to answer and show empathy if you want to make your marriage work after an affair.

Let forgiveness happen naturally. The unfaithful spouse cannot rush or expect quick forgiveness. An affair or the betrayal of your spouse's trust is not a trivial thing so it will take some time for forgiveness to come. There are stages that the betrayed spouse have to go through. She or he may go through tears, anger and resentment before finally arriving at the point of forgiveness. Forgiveness is important to make your marriage work after an affair but you cannot rush it. Forgiveness will come if the betrayed spouse is ready for it.

Control your rage. If you want to still keep your marriage and want to make the marriage work after an affair, you have to balance your anger and your desire to get all the information of the affair from your adulterous spouse. Try your best not to allow your anger get the best of you. Ask all the questions you want to ask about the affair but still be compassionate and do not attack your guilty adulterous spouse every time. If you decided to keep your marriage after the affair, do not let the affair or your anger take over your lives. Do not let your anger rule over you if you want to make your marriage work after an affair.

Open up to each other. It is important to open up and express how you both feel about the affair. Do not hold back and bare all your feelings. By baring all your feelings, disappointments, guilt feelings, feelings of betrayal, feelings of being abandoned, pain, sadness, etc. to each other, you will both realize and understand what went wrong to your marriage. In order to make your marriage work after an affair, you both have to open your heart to each other.

Stay committed in making your marriage work after an affair. Healing after an affair is not easy but a marriage can survive after an affair. Couples have to work hard and stay committed in repairing the damage in their marriage. The unfaithful spouse should stop the affair immediately and start proving his or her trustworthiness while the betrayed spouse should start healing. The commitment of couples is essential for the success of rebuilding the marriage.

Seek help. Both the betrayed spouse and the unfaithful spouse need people they can trust to give them sound advice. It can be very overwhelming to deal with an affair on your own so you need the support of people who can help you sort things out. Choose non-judgmental people who can be with you in your path to healing. Your family, trusted close friends, church elders, spiritual advisers are some of the people you can go to. You may also need professional help from marriage counselors to help you deal with your marriage issues. It is inevitable to seek help if you want to make your marriage work after an affair, so do not hesitate to seek help.

Move on and leave the affair behind. After all the anger, pain, total disclosure and forgiveness, you both have to move on without talking about the affair. Move forward, spend time together to create new memories and rebuild your marriage. Learn from the trials in your marriage and continue to work as a team to strengthen your marriage.

Infidelity or an affair can be a devastating experience for couples but many marriages were able to survive an affair and save their marriage.

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