How Do I Forget

How do I forget? You get through this game called life and in an instant it hits you and everything seems like it is in slow motion. You’ve found a special someone that makes your heart skip. Her smile, her hair, her aura! What a beyond beautiful person. Something so perfect it seems like a dream that you get to call your own. Something so small yet so genuine and the sweetest thing you’ve encountered.

Found and lost in an instant what seems like the best thing, stress irrelevant, sadness no way, because you know that special person makes you so damn happy that it hurts you to admit. That look that melts you instantly snatched in an instant and life come crumbling down! Nothing but a never ending thought from that point on. All of the “what ifs”, and what next even thoughts but you know that is not what you want you don’t want the next. I and everyone search for the “what ifs” and the love that was building to move on and build over time. Since we don’t have it, it just eats away at what happiness we do have. Nothing feels the same, happiness is not even a thing. Doubts in everything you do, will you ever be good enough again, will that person leave your mind? Do you even want for that to happen do you want to move on, do you want to forget that person? I know I don’t, but what can we do. All I know is that we live a day at a time and even though I can do my best to push through I’ll be okay on the outside, that is not what’s going to kill me , no one will know because I would not let them. But the thought that I have to carry forward day to day is what’s going to kill me. What has been taken away and be fixed but there will be that sliver of emptiness that will never fill again, it’s like if you drop a cup and it cracks but you glue it back together; yes it may work but it will have a defect and a weakness that will be apparent to all. Try and try again but that’s what hurts the most, the defeat time after time. The ghosts that come and go.

How do you move on from what I’ve explained? It seems harder than what can be put down in words, but words carry emotion and I never write something I didn’t intend and you shouldn’t either. Go all in and open up but be careful because remember that down fall and the mask that you will show once it gone. The right person will never make this seem so and you will never have to pick up that mask again. I know this feeling well and I’m sure a lot of people do but trust me it will fall into place and two halves will come together to make a whole filling the emptiness that is inside. I will give what I can always so that no one has to experience emptiness I will break myself so you can be whole. My only flaw! It is the kindness that people gain from my heart. I can’t help it that just the way I am. It has its ups and downs, and I’m sure there are so many people out there that are this way that think they are just fucked, but it will be okay you will come out on top and find that right person!