How come we aren't talking about the rape scene in Bridgerton?

And did you even notice it?

By Jade Anderson Published 3 years ago • 4 min read

Wisteria, the gorgeous purple flower growing on the Bridgerton home.

Content warning: Rape

Spoilers for Bridgerton season 1 episode 6.

I’d heard a lot of talk about Bridgerton at the start of the year, so when I finished what I'd been watching it was the next show on my list, and I must say it was a good watch. And damn does it make me thankful that I live in the 21st Century. Watching Daphne almost get married off to some random old man had me cringing, and I was incensed with rage when he then tried to claim her and assaulted her. Also, the thought of ‘shaming’ yourself and all the women in your family just for being with a man ‘unchaperoned’ is horrendously archaic. Honestly, props to all women for making it through that time alive because it must have been absolute hell. My other half even made a comment when Daphne’s older brother was trying to find her a husband, asking how I’d feel if my older brother was having to find me a husband. Thank god we don’t operate like that anymore!

However, one thing I wasn’t expecting was the rape scene that was in season 1, episode 6. From all the hype and talk about the show, I don’t remember there being any sexual violence mentioned. Everyone only has good things to say about it. So it definitely caught me off guard – especially as episode 6 doesn’t come with a content warning for rape, only for ‘sexual violence references’.

What was different about this scene was that it was a woman raping a man, which isn’t something I can say I’ve seen in TV or films well... possibly ever actually. I’m aware that some people don’t think a woman can rape a man, but sadly that isn’t just true. First, some background (and I’ll be talking in a gender binary because the characters are male and female): Daphne and Simon originally got together as a ruse but ended up actually falling for one another. They decide to marry even though Simon told Daphne that he ‘can’t’ give her children, although the need to marry was somewhat exacerbated by them having a snog and a fumble in the gardens at a party and them being seen (remember the ‘shame’ part from earlier? If they didn’t marry, Daphne would be ‘ruined’. Sigh).

Anyhow, Daphne didn’t question his statement, simply assuming that it meant that Simon was biologically unable to have children, but this isn’t so. His father had been desperate for an heir and his mother sadly died in childbirth. As a young boy, Simon suffered with a stutter which wasn’t acceptable to his perfectionist father, so Simon was ridiculed and banished and grew up incredibly alone. He wrote to his father for years, letters that weren’t even opened his father cared so little for him. Growing up with such trauma, Simon vowed to his father on his deathbed that the Hastings name was going to die with him; because his father had put so much weight into having an heir, yet nothing into having a son.

Daphne knew nothing about Simon’s past, just that he had originally never planned to marry, and he never spoke of his family. After a rocky start, they were happy and had a healthy sex life after they were married, until Daphne realised what was happening when Simon was pulling out before ejaculating. Coming from a large family herself, Daphne had always wanted to be a mother and to her, it was the ultimate betrayal learning that he can have children, he just won’t. So, the next time they’re having sex, she flips them over so she’s on top and continues to have sex with him, despite him saying ‘no’ when he knew he was getting close to ejaculating, and carrying on until he had finished inside her so she could conceive. That is in no uncertain terms rape. He withdrew his consent but she carried on regardless.

In all honesty I felt seriously uncomfortable and found it pretty difficult to watch the rest of the episode and the ones after, where Daphne is speaking of being ‘betrayed’ in her marital bed, when she is in fact that one who made the ultimate betrayal. I’m not sure if there wasn’t a content warning for rape on this episode because it was a man being raped, but any sex without consent is rape, even if the consent is withdrawn partway through. I know through my own studies that the majority of women don’t report their rapes, for a variety of reasons, but men who are raped by women are even more less likely to report because there’s an added stigma. We need to tackle this head on and end the stigma around it to be there for our men.

So, why aren’t we talking about this? As I said, there are plenty of depictions of women being raped on TV and in film (which I can’t bear and have to stop watching shows sometimes because of it), but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man being raped on screen. You’d think this first would be talked about more, but is the reason it hasn't been because it isn’t widely deemed as a rape scene?

It doesn’t feel right to end this article without some information if you’ve been affected by any form of rape or sexual assault, you can get help and support here: