How can I let my mourning self burn again?

I don't know what it's like in other industries, but as a copywriter, it's not uncommon for us to get "bored" in our line of work.

A small loss is when you can't write well and you can't write to your satisfaction, so you are anxious and frustrated.

The bigger mourning is when you hit a bottleneck and can't write, you wonder if you've run out of talent, you're afraid you'll never write the words you want, and you're worried you'll lose your ability to make a living.

A bigger bereavement is to write and write and suddenly one day feels very tired and not want to write anymore. If you know what you're doing, you can give up if you don't want to write, but it's more often the case that the sensibility is saying "I'm tired, I don't want to move", but the rationality keeps reminding you "No, it's a pity to give up again after you've come this far, for the sake of life, for the fire in your heart, you have to keep going! ", so you just have to drag the tired body, with their drawing of the future pie more beautiful, forcing themselves to move forward slowly. Sometimes I don't know if the dream is driving us forward, or if we are driving the dream forward.

Coincidentally, I have experienced all three kinds of "mourning".

I have said in many public places that "becoming a writer was my dream as a child, and I truly love writing". Regardless of the times, the word "dream" is still a very beautiful existence in my heart, and I don't want to make the path of "dream" that brings me glory and confidence sound bad, but these beautiful moments can't be erased. The most depressing moments of my twenty years were brought to me by "writing".

After all, all the stories in this world have an AB side, you want the beauty of the A-side, you have to bear the wretchedness of the B side, this is the rules of the game in this world since the field to participate in the game, we must dare to play on, dare to all in, more dare to bear maybe all in after you may also lose the whole game of this result.

We all understand the reasoning, but every time to take this road and encounter bottlenecks, but also in the heart will think "if I do not choose this road, will not be a little happier than my current life".

A parallel world that we did not choose the road, whether it is a little happier, or a little sadder, we do not know.

The only thing we can be sure of is that it is true for humanity to stand in the future of the story and use God's perspective to judge our own choices.

"True humanity," tells us that in this life, no matter which path you choose, whether to live as your ideal or live as most, you will encounter a lot of very sad, very frustrating moments, will be eating fries and burgers when worried about gaining weight, in doing the day-to-day work, will think about our life is not really In the idol drama, there will be a moment when you think "how good it would be if I lived that kind of life".

Even the so-called ideal life, after a long time, become a habit, the ideal life, will also become ordinary life, will also breed fatigue and boredom, will also let you lose, let you be sad, and let you be confused, this is the truth of life.

After all this, I just want to say one thing, if you occasionally feel that life is very funeral, then congratulations, your life is very healthy.

Even if it is clear that "it is normal to be bereaved", but as a person who lives a very positive life in the eyes of everyone, I once did not "dare" to admit my bereaved to my face.

I remember very clearly, a few years ago I encountered a very sad thing, breaking down when a friend of mine called, I was strong and calm to say a few words to him, and finally did not hold back in the phone and cried out. At that time, my friend tried to comfort me on the phone and said to me, "Your article has encouraged so many people to be strong and brave, how can you be so fragile, you have to pull yourself together".

For a long time, I blamed myself deeply for his words, and every time I encountered something, wanted to be depressed, wanted to collapse, there would be a voice inside running out "you are an inspirational blogger, you have to be strong, you have to be an example to everyone, you can't do this".

The result is to suppress yourself everywhere, pretending to be strong and happy, not daring to break down in front of people, not daring to say their grievances, afraid that others think I am not strong and brave enough, over time, it is easy to become unhealthy inside. The worst time, every day when the alarm clock went off, even if I was not fully awake, but as soon as I realized that a new day had come, the first thought that came to my mind was "how to spend another day".

During that time, I was so tired of living that I didn't know what the meaning of everyday existence was, I didn't know why I had to work hard, or why I had to earn money, even if I was so unhappy, I only knew that "I have to work hard, to live as active and hard in the eyes of others".

Only later did I understand that my friend was using the "label" to bind me, and I actually accepted this "label" and set limits for myself again and again.

The consequence of not allowing yourself to be "bereaved" is that later, it took me a long time and a lot of effort to slowly become happy again.

It's not just that you're happy, it doesn't mean that you're not strong and brave enough to show that you are. This is the truth that I understood only later.

We all magnify the consequences of being "unhappy" and "not working hard" once or twice, and once we feel we are not working hard or being positive, we will doubt ourselves, am I very sad and negative? But there is no need for such mediocrity, it is okay to lose once or twice, the sky does not fall, and the world will not collapse, do not want to work hard at the moment, then lay on the floor in big letters, and so you rest well, stored enough energy, and then get up and continue to walk the jungle.

There is a kind of mourning is called, after the mourning has the rest of life.

There is a kind of strength is called, after a short period of mourning, then you can continue to be strong.

There is a kind of bravery called, you dare to accept your mourning.

How can I let my mourning self burn again?

So you ask me, how can I let my mourning self burn again?

Sorry, even if I am good at writing encouraging words, here, I do not want to blindly give everyone a dose of chicken blood.

If you like your state of mourning, but only by the anxiety of the network, doubting whether their state is not good, my advice is: think about what you want in life, if you are very satisfied with their lives at the moment, but also like their state at the moment, then there is no need to deliberately force themselves to "burn", we We accept that there are people who are not satisfied with the status quo and try to run ahead, but also accept the mode of life of being content and enjoying the moment.

What is meaningful in life is only up to us.

If you are experiencing a very sad time and do not like this sad self, my advice is simple.

1. accept that life is so long, everyone will encounter a brief moment of mourning, which is also a healthy state of life.

The short-term state is not good, do not worry, you do not have to be too anxious to think about how to spend the days, and the mourning, as we run the 800 meters, even in the last 300 meters, we feel difficult, really can not hold on, legs are very sore, tired, the moment is very uncomfortable, but at this moment does not require you to do anything deliberately, as long as you put this minute and a half of the time to persist, the sad days yourself will pass.

The thoughts in people's hearts are momentary things, waiting for time to mature when only a slight push from the outside world is enough, and finally will slowly become better.

A very important subject in life is, waiting. You have to learn to wait.

2. accept this state of affairs that makes you very unhappy at the moment, and analyze the reasons. There is no reason to mourn, most of the mourning moments, are your life style at a certain time is not so good, and life complaints against you.

Think carefully about what you are bereaved for.

If it's because of a long effort, no good rest, or a tight string finally broke, then you need to give yourself a good vacation, and take a break; if it's because the payoff is not rewarded, very confused about life is very confused, do not know what to do next, then try to give yourself a little positive feedback when life does not reward you, complete a job remember to reward yourself. If you persist for a long time, did not give the results you want, very frustrated, then please believe that "no distance", you want to go far away, and the only way to get there is to work harder and be more persistent. Do not lose confidence, please believe.

3. to do the thing that makes you the most anxious at the moment, brave to meet the difficulties.

About how to face their bereavement, I made a lot of attempts, at first to watch some inspirational or healing movies, can briefly forget the unhappiness of life, and finally slowly to the film cure antibodies, immersed in the film two hours later, and then back to see the current life of a chicken feather, will still be a big head.

Later, I tried to exercise, run, do yoga, swimming I tried, while self-abuse, but also to give themselves a positive psychological implication, "It's okay, even if my life is messed up, I exercise well, give myself a good-looking self, life is not a loss", the physical and psychological effect of the first exercise is very obvious, but then slowly will likewise encounter a problem, antibodies to exercise. Over time, my happiness threshold is getting higher and higher, the movement of sweat is very happy, and later, sweat can not solve the unhappiness of my life.

So in the end, I chose to take it on the chin. When I encounter a moment that makes me very broken and very sad, I simply bow my head to life and ambush a soft, allowing myself to break down and cry, all the aggravation and sadness are cried once, tired of crying to themselves, patting their asses to stand up, beautiful and dry clean up, who can not see my mess.

After crying, afraid to finish, in turn, become strong, and brave to do the thing that makes their head, anyway, first try their best to move forward, the worst possible outcome, still just have to come to a big cry, but in case you stick to the end, for a new opportunity to turn it. Then I will have earned. A small-for-big deal, no loss.

In the end, the last person who can help you get rid of the mourning, towards the burning, can only be yourself. Analyze where your problems are, calm your emotions, and adjust yourself to the best state to face life, this is the magic formula for mourning.

Life is ultimately self-help, others can not help you. But you have to be strong.