How Being Calm In An Adverse Situation Miraculously Saved A Life

This happened to a good friend of mine. His wife was in a terrible car crash when she was driving on the highway in the suburbs of a South Indian city. An overspeeding truck slammed into her car, crushing the entire front part of her Toyota.

Thankfully, she was driving en route to a military hospital that was about 5 miles from the crash spot. Well, it wasn’t a hit-and-run case, in which case, she would be dead by 5 years.

The driver and his assistant had only minor injuries and were able to call the emergency services to the spot. Her car was in such a mess that a car mechanic with heavy tools including a crowbar was also called to the scene to crack open the door to let her out.

The emergency services team found a weak pulse on her and that’s about it. She was in a coma, right out of her car. She was rushed to the ICU of the hospital. Her husband was informed. He and I worked together in a research lab that was quite far from the hospital.

We both arrived a couple of hours later. The head doctor said there was very little hope she would survive. She had multiple fractures, her lungs were collapsing, and other organs were shutting down one by one due to the systemic shock she endured during the crash.

My friend, her husband, was a very down-to-earth human with a calm demeanor. I called him the “Zen Master”, as he had such a sharp focus on whatever he did. He was also good at problem-solving and had a super analytical mind.

Yet, it took him about 3 hours to calm down looking at his wife’s state. He was crying like a baby in my arms. I had no choice but to hold back my tears and be his daddy for a while.

His wife was on the ventilator, in a complete coma for the next 48 hours. We weren’t let in to see her but we saw her from a small window on the door.

Nearly 72 hours and two surgeries later, we were allowed to be with her for 2 hours a day of our choosing, from 9 am to 3 pm. The doctors said they did their best and the rest was in her hands and in God’s hands. She had shown a mild improvement in that her organs survived the shock and were getting slightly better.

My friend let me in the first few times. When I was there with him and her, I noticed my friend talking to her. He held her hands. There was not a single sign of distress on his face. He was no longer crying or nervous. I also noticed that he mentally prepared himself for a long time when we were in the waiting room.

The moment he stepped in, he became her husband who she saw every day. The calm, down-to-earth man she liked and loved with all her heart.

He held her hands and started speaking to her about ordinary things in life. He spoke about their next week’s grocery shopping plan, meeting with their accountant, binge-watching Game Of Thrones the coming Friday evening, and all sorts of normal, ordinary stuff in such an extraordinary time.

This was the first time I cried looking at a scene I had not seen even in a movie. I left the room to let out my emotions and let them be by themselves.

He did not panic because he knew his wife of 5 years was almost dead and in a full-blown coma. He had nothing to lose. Yet, he did not panic. Deep inside him, there was a huge fire of hope burning. The fire wished to have his wife back and healthy.

In a normal situation, 99% of people would have lost their hope and either kept very quiet until it was over, quietly sobbing, or sat close to the patient and cried out loud, displaying all sorts of extreme emotions. Phrases like please come back, don’t leave us, we love you would have been uttered quite often with a lot of nervousness and anxiety.

My friend did not do any of that. He was smiling at her and talking in his normal day-to-day voice with zero signs of anxiety. His voice did not crack even once.

He did not tell her that he loved her, or any other phrase that might have provoked her emotions unnecessarily. He knew very well that his wife was not much into melodrama and would not have liked not being able to reciprocate his declarations of love. So, he did not use any such words or phrases that would have made her feel bad and helpless.

He knew she was listening to him. Somehow, he knew. So he kept his cool.

He spent three to four hours with her every day for the next 5 days. He discussed everything with her as though she was with him. When he was done, he came out to the waiting room and cried and sobbed as much as he wanted. Then he went back, fully prepared to play his role.

Her health gradually got better. Her lungs were the most affected body part and then her brain. Her breathing resumed little by little. She got out of her full coma after a week. But she was in a partial coma for another fortnight.

Doctors knew what was going on. They were in tears too. I am not making this up. Doctors cry. They are humans.

The team of doctors who worked on her did everything they could and worked day and night to give us a little hope. There are no words to describe their dedication and skill set. The team was more than surprised to see the progress of the case and the unique approach taken by the husband.

She couldn’t recover completely though. They had to amputate her right leg as it was irreversibly damaged. Besides that, she was in good shape six months later.

The couple is still happily married and together five years later. She went for a prosthetic leg. She is now capable of walking like a healthy person. She is also a trained jogger.

This is one of the most profound events in my life so far and has taught me some mind-altering life lessons. My life was never the same after that. I started being much kinder, more patient, and down-to-earth to people and animals alike.

It was also crystal clear to me that staying calm and composed during any situation, adverse or otherwise, helps us to display mastery over it and eventually win it.

They say the near-death experience can completely change and make a person better, wise, and realized. I am not sure how the event changed my friend’s wife, but I certainly had my near-death experience, without getting physically hurt, just by looking at my friend deal with adversity in an astoundingly unusual manner.

Was it the power of true love? Was it the power of hope? Or was it something more that is not easily perceivable by ordinary humans? I am not sure.

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