What Does Your Love Style Tell You About The Quality Of Your Relationship?
Six main love styles and their influence on relationship duration and health benefits for both partners.
Did you know there are different styles of love? I didn’t until I stumbled upon what I read a few days ago.
Lee has identified and categorized six love styles, three of which are primary and three of which are secondary, based on the various attitudes people have toward romantic love.
Eros (passionate, romantic love), Ludus (playful love), and Storge are the primary styles (friendly love). Secondary styles are combinations of two primary styles, such as Mania (obsessive or addicted love), which is a combination of Eros and Ludus; Pragma (practical, sensible love), which is a combination of Storge and Ludus; and Agape (altruistic/unselfish love), which includes Eros and Storge.
Eros love style
Are you an ardent romantic lover? You then have the Eros love style. This love style is also characterized by intense love sentiments, physical and emotional attraction, healthy love, and subjective well-being. It is associated with the positive aspects of a relationship and married life. This sort of love is intimately related to the need for intimate closeness with the spouse. People that show this love style are more tolerant of disagreements, like to work as a team in challenging situations, and want devoted long-term relationships.
It is characterized by a decrease in avoidance behavior, low levels of fear, and destructive communication behaviors such as criticism, contempt, defense, dominance, and interactional impulsiveness. Because of the intensity and passion of the relationship, this love style may include spying on the other and excessive jealousy.
Agape love style
Are you the type of person who would move mountains and make any sacrifice to care for someone you love and care about? Then this is probably your love style. It is characterized by altruistic attitudes and conduct displayed by individuals who are most concerned with offering support, care, and respect to the partner.
Agape love style is favorably connected with relationship quality, length of the relationship, and relational happiness regardless of education level, gender, or religion.
Furthermore, this type of partner always prefers a more stable attachment; believes a commitment to be an important trait in selecting a partner; and prefers to avoid negative communication behaviors such as scorn, criticism, defense, and dominance. In contrast to the Eros love type, there is no snooping or jealousy in the Agape love style.
Even when a partner has cheated on them, agape couples do not exhibit maladaptive emotions. Nonetheless, agape males, in especially, may experience unpleasant emotions when the relationship ends.
Ludus love style
This is the love style of all the playboys and playgirls out there. They consider love to be a game. Because the focus of Ludus people is on having pleasure at the moment, they live their relationships in an uncommitted manner. This personality type is widely regarded as a risk factor for the quality and stability of a romantic relationship.
Ludus style has a negative impact on all aspects of a relationship’s formation, maintenance, and breakup. There is a general lack of effort in the relationship, a lack of concern for one’s commitment or that of one’s partner, and good feelings following the partnership’s dissolution.
During the relationship-building phase, Ludic people tend to prefer a lack of connection and mistrust one another from the start, despite showing signals of craving closeness and fluctuating avoidance. Simultaneously, despite their general relational dissatisfaction, ludic people seek to keep the connection alive, albeit through negative behavior such as destructive conflict, infidelity, avoidance, and stimulation of jealousy in the other, as well as spying.
When a Ludus partner is cheated on, they do not experience post-traumatic physical or psychological symptoms. Furthermore, Ludus is linked to the avoidant kind of attachment, since it has been demonstrated that couples with a playful approach toward love are more likely to create adult insecure-avoidant attachment relationships.
Storage love style
It is a friendly love attitude because persons with this love style like to display friendship feelings toward others; their couple relationships are founded more on shared interests and devotion to the partner than on passion.
This love style seeks long-term commitment, high levels of satisfaction in a relationship, and a stable attachment to their spouse.
This love style is associated with contentment in the love life of adults and older adults. Here, the emotions and behaviors are usually less damaging. When partnerships dissolve, though, envy is frequently the driving force.
Pragma love style
It is typical of persons who have a realistic and rational approach to love. As a result, they tend to select a mate based on the attributes they believe are essential to them, as well as to seek partners with whom they may share common goals.
Pragma appears to be related to stable relationships, partially to the quality of marital life, and to adult and older adult pleasure in the partnership. It also contributes to people’s subjective well-being. In conflict situations, pragmatic people often adopt techniques such as compromise and avoidance, and when their partner commits emotional infidelity, they do not react strongly.
Partners with this attachment style do not appear to develop an “anxious” or scared attachment style characterized by a negative perspective of oneself and others, but rather exhibit ambiguity and oscillations in the creation of an emotional attachment.
Mania love style
It reflects a frenzied attitude toward love, meaning possessive and obsessive tendencies. People with this love style require their partners to love them, and they are possessive and jealous lovers.
It is thought to be the purest type of love obsession. It is possible that it is considered and solidified as an essential risk factor in the quality of marital life because of such qualities. With a few exceptions, despite the fact that it involves people who tend to devote themselves to the connection, such people do not appear to be able to form long-term or happy partnerships.
There is, in fact, a link between love life pleasure and manic men adults, but not females. Mania is a powerful predictor of poor interpersonal behavior. It is related to jealousy and appears in persons who exhibit pathological jealousy and pathological love, and it tends to manifest jealously-evoking conduct in the partner, even when the latter shows affection.
Partners with a manic love style have an overwhelming desire to be reassured by their partner, emotional highs and lows in their ability to be close to him or her, an anxious-ambivalent attachment style, and a preoccupation with the relationship and its termination. The worrying component of attachment, on the other hand, has an inverse proportionality. Manic people are prone to engaging in undesirable relational behaviors in order to maintain the connection, such as destructive conflict, cheating, accepting control, and spying.
Secure attachment is inversely linked to mania. It relates directly to disruptive communication behavior. People who adopt this love style experience infidelity traumatically, display unresolved sentiments associated with the occurrence, and suffer from physical symptoms such as acute tension, discomfort, anxiety, sadness, and hard to forgive.
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