Home

I don't remember how I got here, or when, or even where I am. All I know was that I was laying in the hospital bed. I was surrounded by the sounds of beeping machines and whimpering and crying. Even though I was very aware of what was going on, I could not speak, nor could I comfort the sounds around me. What I do remember was the feeling of a gently pressure of someone holding my hand and prayers.

I could feel it, the very life of me being lifted from my body. The shallow breaths of my lungs, struggling to continue on, and a softness. I felt weightless and serene. "If only I can live like this forever" I thought. I could feel nothing. Not the beating of my heart, or the pain in all my limbs. I couldn't feel a thing. When I finally had the strength to open my eyes again, I was here.

Where is here? It took my eyes awhile to adjust. I knew I was moving, or rather I was on something that was moving by the soft shaking of my body. I closed my eyes tightly and when I opened them again I realized that I was in a seat. The wool was harsh against my skin. I looked around and could not see another soul in sight. I stood to my feet shakily and looked around. I was in a train, but I was the only one there.

I realized I could finally feel my limbs, but they were still weightless. It felt as though I was floating though I could feel my bare feet against the cold metal of the floor. I was no longer in my medical gown. Instead I was wearing a light yellow sundress with sunflowers painting the whole fabric. It was warm against my body. I lifted my hands and touched my hair. It felt as though it was brushed through, and I felt a headband on my head. When I pulled it off it too was decorated with yellow sunflowers. It looked like something I would have worn when I was no older than Ten. This clothing was not my style.

"Miss Ayla Reikers?"

I jumped suddenly at the sound of someone saying my name. I finally lifted my eyes from the headband and saw a pristine and professional looked brunette. She was wearing a white shirt over top of a dark blue vest. Her skirt was barely past her knees and she was wearing a dark blue scarf around her neck. She looked down at me as though she was waiting for me to reply. In her hands was a dark brown clipboard.

"Miss Ayla Reikers?" She repeated once again. I looked at her name tag, Freya.

"Yes." I finally replied back. How did this women know my name? I couldn't understand what was happening.

"What destination would you like to go to?"

"I'm... sorry?" Destination?

"What destination do you choose?" She repeated once again. I scrunched my eyebrows still not totally understanding what she was saying. "I understand. I will leave you to decide." Freya half-bowed to me and then walked off. She didn't walk very far before she turned to me and smiled and then completely vanished in front of my eyes.

I sat there in stunned silence for what felt like an eternity. What I understood was that I was on a train and that I could choose to go anywhere I wanted? How did I ever get here? I figured it must have been some kind of hallucination? Maybe it was all the drugs that I was given at the hospital? Come to think of it... how did I end up in the hospital in the first place?

I closed my eyes tightly and sat back in my chair. I tried to think, I tried to remember, but nothing was immediately coming to mind. I remember I was walking down the street late at night to get the mail... like I always did. I heard a noise, like a loud car, and then everything goes completely blank.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

I opened my eyes and no longer was I sitting alone. I was still sitting next to the window, but sitting next to me was someone else, a man I assumed by the sound of his voice. The look of him did not have the same solace that the women had given me. Instead he was dressed in a deeply black suit and tie. It was even blacker than black and it scared me a little bit. He too had dirty blonde hair like me, but it was thick and messy. He had his legs crossed and his hands resting peacefully on his knees. The way he looked at me with that smile of his set my teeth on edge. I was not prepared to deal with yet another reason to be confused.

"Maya Angelou said that." He smiled softly. "Do you want to know your story?"

I leaned a little bit away from him. I didn't realize it until my lungs desperately raged for breath, that I was holding it. I let it go and wondered what he was talking about? Was he talking about how I ended up in the hospital. I thought about it for a moment before I slowly nodded my head. No matter how terrifying, I wanted to know the story.

He gave me a small smile and then looked away. He looked as though this is something that he had to do very often. "You were hit on the sidewalk by a drunk driver. He came swerving around the corner and hit you."

I could remember it now. The sound that I heard was of screeching tires, and I could see the red car heading my way. The lights were so bright that before I could even react I felt the front of the car hit me right in my lower stomach. I could feel myself hit the cold, damp grass, and the feeling of warmth wash over me.. I could hear my mother screaming and my dad calling the ambulance.

"Am I dead?" I finally asked. The way my voice cracked and wavered as the words came out of my mouth. Did I really want to know?

"Perhaps... or perhaps not."

"What do you mean?" I finally sat up straight and looked him dead in the face. He turned to look at me but he was no longer smiling or looking sad. He looked completely lifeless.

"You get to choose. You can wake up now... or you can go to The Forever Land."

"What is that?"

A smile returned to his face and unfolded his legs and then folded them back the opposite direction. "The Forever Land is whatever you want it to be. It can be the ocean... or a rainforest... or it can be your bedroom. Anything you desire it can become yours in The Forever Land. It's all a matter of if you think it's your time to be there. There is no pain, only peace and youth."

I felt a quiet gasp escape my lips. A single tear ran down and stained my cheeks. "I can choose."

"Of course you can. Everything is a choice."

I sighed and looked out the window that was next to me as I tried to take this all in. The only thing that I could see outside my window was thousands and thousands or dark green trees passing us by. Everything in the train and outside the train was covered in a light glow but I could barely tell. I only noticed it now that my mind was quieted a bit.

All I could think of was that I was only 16. There were still plenty of things that I wanted to do with life. I wanted to get married, I wanted to have children, I wanted to be an inventor. I wanted to stay with my mom and dad. I made my decision. I turned around to tell him that I wanted to go home, when a blurry voice came through and echoed in the train.

"It's okay baby. You can let go."

I was the tearful sound of my mothers voice. I took in a sharp breath and finally let more tears burn the skin on my cheeks. I looked down and saw as the tears fell into my hands. The Forever Land sounded blissful. What would happen when I woke up? Would I not be able to use my legs? Or my hands? What kind of life would I be if I were to get off this train.

"Where is home? That's where I wanna go. I wanna go home." I finally said tearfully. If home was to be this Forever Land I would accept it.

"Home? My dear... home is anything you can imagine, anything you desire is your home." He responded. He lifted his hands from his knees for the first time and placed it on my shoulder. "You ARE home."

I lifted my face to look at him again. I had not expected that kind of answer. If I could make anything home, then I knew what I wanted. "I want to go back then." I rejoiced.

The man smiled as though he was pleased with my answer. "Good." He stood up and placed his hands in his pockets. "I will let Freya know." He started to walk away with a bounce in his step. He seemed sincerely pleased with himself, or with me, or with something.

"Wait... you never told me your name." I called to him and stood up. He stopped walking and turned back to me.

"I'm whoever you want me to be. Close your eyes, and when you awake you will be back home." He kept that smile plastered to his face as he winked at me. He turned back around and walked off. Just like the girl before him he dissipated right in front of my eyes.

I watched that spot for a couple of seconds before I sat back down in my chair. I looked outside the window again and nodded my head. I knew what I had chosen, and it seems as though I had made the right decision. I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes.

Once again I felt weighless, as though I was floating in mid air. I could not feel my limbs or my heartbeat. I couldn't feel anything at all. I heard the horn of the train go off. It was loud and a bit startling, but when it finally disappeared I could feel something again. I could feel the same soft pressure on my hands as though someone was squeezing my hand. I heard surprised gasps and loud crying.

"She's back." A strict voice came through, a voice I did not notice.

I finally felt brave enough to open my eyes. All I could see when I opened my eyes was the gray tiling of the ceiling above me. I felt a dull ache in every inch of my body. My legs, my arms, my stomach, all were aching intensely, but not too horrible as to not be bearable. I turned my head and saw the puffy eyes and wet tear-stained cheeks of my mothers face.

"You came back." She whimpered softly as she hugged me. I could tell that there were other people in the room besides my mother. When she hugged me I could barely feel it, but I shakily lifted my arms and returned the hug.

"I came home."