Help Me

HELP ME

…..Sobbing! Mother, please help me? A loud drunken voice yells, “She is not going to help you; she knows better!” The young man looks at his mother with desperate tears in his eyes, wanting her protection. They share a moment’s stare looking directly into each other eyes to their soul. The mother breaks into tears and hangs her head. Then a loud noise with a crash as the young man’s vision becomes blurry. The stepfather was looking down on him, laughing, saying, “You are as worthless as she is; why don’t you do us all a favor and end it.”

With anger, the young man grabs a knife off the table, pushes his stepfather, and runs through the door into the open night. The young man runs into the woods with only the stars and full moon as a light for guidance. Running as the tears cascade down his face until he is out of breath. To catch his breath, he huddles against a tree. The young man is wet from head to toe. He didn’t realize as he ran out into the night, it was raining. Tired, wet, and cold, his adrenaline starts to decrease, the young man starts looking for shelter. He goes deeper into the woods than he has ever been before in his life. As the rain begins to come down more solemn, he comes across an old barn with a sunken roof—as the cold and rain forces the young man to seek shelter in this old barn. The young man enters the old barn finding a dry spot in the barn’s corner.

The barn was still cold because the roof had collapsed, but at least he could dry out. The young man sitting on the floor heaving looked up into the sky where the roof had collapsed, and he could see the moon. Sitting there on the floor looking at the moon, lost in thought, the young man yelled… A primal yell of anger! He clutched his hands tightly, and then he realized he still had the knife in his hands. He pulled the knife up to his face, and the moonlight allowed him to take in the blade. The last thoughts that came to the young man’s head were his stepfather’s words, “Why don’t you do us all a favor and end it!” Then he thought about the look in his mothers’ eyes. He looked at the knife; he stared at the blade through the moonlight. Then he dropped his head and sobbed loudly. He placed the knife beside him as he starts to cry in his hands.

He sits there for a few minutes, crying. Finally, he gets up and listens to the beating of the rain on the roof… He felt the coldness from the night air and took in the moon’s white glow in this dark lonely barn. He whispered, “Help me.” He looked around again, and he said a little louder, “Help me.” Silence greeted him. The young man looked at the hole in the roof. The sky is filled with stars and the full moon; he yelled at the top of his lungs, “HELP ME!”

Who! The young man, startled, felled back against the wall and looked around with fear. He looked everywhere the light shined but couldn’t see no one. His heart starts to pace, so he edged toward the knife and grabbed it. He stood there for a moment in pure silence, trying to hear if anyone was moving. As his breathing begins to relax and the fear subsides, he begins to ease from the anxiety. A little more on guard, he said, “Is anyone out there.” The only sound that came back was the howling of the wind and the raindrops. Silence... His breaths went back to an average pace after what seems like an hour. The gravity of the situation returned to the young man as the fear left. Once again, he sits on the ground with his back to the wall, and he thought of his mom’s eyes as his stepfather’s words echos in his head, “End it for us all!”

Sitting there, lost in thought, he allowed his stepfather’s words to consume him again. This time the fear and sadness turn to anger. The young man looked at the knife and then at his wrist. He stared at it for a while, and he once again whispered under his breath, “Help me.” Who! The hairs on the back of his neck raised, and his arms got gooseflesh. The young man started to stare around this time, not with fear but with curiosity. He then said again, a little louder, “Help me!” Who! The word echoed back at him.

The boy looks up to the roof and still could not see anyone. The boy said, “Anyone, I need help.” No answer came back. The boy then said, “I can’t go back there to that living hell. My mother will not protect me, and my stepfather beats me. I need help. I can’t continue living like this.” The young boy looked to the open roof, hoping someone was there listening to him. He continued, “Maybe my stepfather is right, and it would be better for us all if I end it.” Tears begin to swell in his eyes again as the grip on the knife tightened. Through his sobbing, he said pleadfully, “Help Me!” Then gently, as the raindrops hit the barn, a voice said, “Who!”

Confusion overtook the young man as he said, “That is what I am asking you. I need help.” Silence fell on his ears. The boy looked at the roof once again and said, “Well, will you help me.” No answer. So the young boy looked around, and he saw a stick, and he picked it up and threw it through the roof of the barn. The stick went through the roof and landed somewhere at the back of the barn. No one is going to help me. He glanced at the knife again as clarity washed over him. It’s not worth it. Then he thought of his mother and wonder who would help her if he was gone. He thought of her eyes. Through the pain in her eyes, he could see the desperation for help too. He could feel in his mother’s eyes the feeling he had when he yelled at the sky, asking for help. Standing there, thinking of what would happen to his mother if he cowardly took his own life to escape his pain. He wonders who would help her through her pain.

Gently he said once again, “Help me!” Gently once again, he heard back, “Who!” The young boy said, “No one. No one can help, but I can help my mother. I will not be a coward and allow that drunk to kill my mother. If she doesn’t have the courage to fight him, I will. I don’t need your help or anyone’s help; I can do it alone” With new determination, the young boy picked up the knife with anger in his voice he yelled, “I will help myself!” Then with a flutter of feathers, an owl sitting at the dark corner of the roof flew through the opening and crackled, “Hoot!”

The young man stared at the old barn owl with amazement. He laughed and said with the first sign of humor all night, “It was you the whole time saying who.” The owl stared at him. The young man looked at the owl curiously for a while. He yelled at the owl, “Get out of here,” yet the owl sat there and continued to watch him. The young man got angry and then picked up another stick and threw it at the owl. The owl calmly flew to the window of the barn and stared at the boy. The young boy yelled again, “Get out of here.” The owl continued to stare at him. The young man and the owl stared at each other for a while. Then the young man finally sat back down and said, “I don’t care if you sit there or not.”

Lost in thought about how he would help his mother, he mutters to himself, “I can do it. I only have two more years until I am old enough to get out of that house, and I will leave, and I will get my own place and take my mother with me.” Deep in thought, the young man had forgotten about the owl which sat on the upper window watching him. Light peaked through the roof as the young man finally realized he had been there most of the night, lost in his own thoughts. Getting up and preparing himself to go back to the house, he threw the knife on the ground. His mindset on what he had to do, he looked up at the roof to see the sun. The glare was bright, so the young man shaded his eyes; as he looked out the window, he noticed the owl. Curiosity overtook the young man as he asked the owl, “What are you still doing here?” The owl stared at the young man. He then said, with frustration, “What do you want?” The owl stared. The young man stared at the owl for a while. The owl and the young man just stared at each other. Finally, out of frustration, the young man broke the stare and headed toward the door. With one final look at the owl, he said, “You didn’t help me. I don’t know who can help me!” The owl crackled, “YOU!”

The boy’s eyes widening and he said did you say me? For the first time since the owl appeared that night, it flew back to the opening of the roof. He landed at the top. He looked at the boy one final time and crackled, “YOU!” With that, the last flutter of his feathers, the owl flew into the open sky. The boy watched as the owl disappeared into the clouds and bright sun. Stunned and shocked, the young boy looked at the clouds’ shadows until the sun came fully into the sky. Before stepping entirely out of the barn, the young man took one more look at the knife. With resolution and determination, he stepped out of the barn and said, “I will help myself…”