Heartfelt

No words could describe the pain , the yearning of one heart to another , an entrapment of an elusive feeling trigged by chemical desire inbuilt to our DNA.

You own my heart, yet such pain its felt so long ago. They say that 2020 is a year for sorrow and sadness , but to me it starting no different than 2019 . Then you appeared so tender, so caring and as the months went on our connection deepened in that realm of outer body delight.

We astralled together for weeks which became months, learning about each other our dreams and our desires. You took me to the heart of the universe , showed me your universal dragon form and then your phoenix form took hold while spiralling flames outstretched wide to reveal your burning wings, my own outstretched , for we are equal.

You taught me who I am, who I could be , and with those never ending words of love that slipped from your ever sweet tongue, you showed me beauty and wonder within the astral planes.

But as the months went on and as our bond grew so strong , time was becoming so heart wrenching with the longing of desire for you to be beside me. Your energy and power so far more than many would ever understand, yet waking alone in the mortal form is bitterly cruel.

You promise you will step forward within the physical and waking world , that I only need wait another three months, but my heart can't take it any more, I long for you here now and yet I know I must wait, I must be patent.

But today was far too much, I broke down it was all too much to take and continue smiling, hoping from deep within. My son in self isolation while I try to find work so bills can be paid, yet still trying to be a mum and trying to hold everything together. And you with your energy so strong , having entrapped me in your web, you wanted me to know you are near and that you care , you wanted me to know that you truly love me , but why can you not send me a message in the physical word? Why must everything you do only be within the astral realms?

Just one simple message in the physical world is all I ask for, a message telling me its really you, tell me you really do care , telling me that all that we want will happen as you claim.

But nothing, just your astral form and telepathic connection within my mind. It was too much with everything else that was causing me stress , I couldn't take it anymore, I crumbled , breaking down crying, unable to bare it anymore.

I lay in the warm water of my bathtub , my thoughts dark and broken as the tears ran down my cheeks . I can lie and say I'm okay, that I'm fine , but it would always a lie. I can say I wont wait forever for you , but the truth is I will always wait and when your physically with me , if it should ever happen, I will know truly that it is you, not an illusion of my unstable mind , for that is how I see myself now , unstable with illusions within my mind.

So tell me again you love me and that you will come to be with me, tell me again that I just need to wait a little longer, but by the time you do come to me I'll likely be so broken you don't recognise me.

So to you, you who astral to me, you who whispers sweet nothings in my ear, that got me physically pregnant yet seeded within me through the astral realm, you of such worldwide high acclaim, you of such beauty and skill, you still telling me to wait three more months for you to come be by my side. I shall wait, like we agreed, but expect I shall be broken when you come to for my heart is broken already, every morning waking from the astral to remember I'm alone, yet feel your energy around me.

However much I love you, I just want some form of sign from you, one message, one word maybe our play time code word, if that is all you can share or maybe something that I know is linked to us.

Please just reach out to me, for my heart can not take much more of this.