Have emotional problem should you consult emotional expert?

Have emotional problem should you consult emotional expert?

When you have emotional problems and feel like you can't handle it, of course you can't handle it alone.

Learn to take the initiative to help, to take the initiative to consult.

1. Are "relationship experts" really reliable?

The U.S. has about one counselor per 1,000 people, while China has only 4.6 counselors per 1 million people.

Behind these statistics, many people's emotional problems, emotional problems have not been professionally solved.

Therefore, "professional mistress retainer", "marriage rescue expert", "emotional trainer" and "life growth mentor" should also be born: ten yuan to ask questions to each other, dozens of yuan to chat for half an hour, monthly package, annual package, online car on-demand.

Of course, in this day and age, in order to appear more professional, they also add a "psychological" label to themselves. Perhaps they do have a "slight" background in psychology. After all, there is a wealth of resources available online these days, including books and online courses in psychology.

However, the reliability of these "relationship experts" who have almost no threshold is questionable.

Many network marketing techniques make use of the visitors eager to solve the problem of psychology, the problem itself as a propaganda to attract customers, its purpose is not to help visitors, but their own marketing.

So if someone tells you that he can help a client by teaching himself psychology, it's better to take a closer look at the process of how he helped someone, rather than hearing him describe the result of his help.

There are also so-called psychologists who like to give advice, judge, or share their own experiences and guide the growth of others. When others listen to their own opinions, they are happy, when others do not accept their own opinions, will disparage others as "confused", immature.

The starting point of such an "expert" is not the needs of others, but the desire to be recognized and admired. This pathological narcissism that needs to be fixed is beneficial to the visitor.

All in all, the background and experience of the self-proclaimed "relationship expert" is absolutely not enough to support them to become a counselor and provide professional and effective help.

There is no easy way to be a truly useful consultant.

2. What makes a useful consultant?

Formal psychological counseling training is quite professional.

In order to complete this process, counselors usually need several years of training, including the basic theory of psychological counseling (including how to judge whether a visit is within their work scope, work ethics, information gathering and questioning techniques, empathy, etc.), genre theory (such as psychoanalysis, cognitive behavioral, etc.), as well as practice accumulation, and need to be supervised in practice.

Because psychological counseling is not based on the theory of books can learn, but need to be like a master apprentice, do while learning, that is, need to accept the supervision of mature consultants.

Novice consultants may have put in thousands of hours of practice before they are certified as independent practitioners. Many counselors learn, even lifelong learning. In the psychoanalytic genre, it may take an average of ten years to qualify as a psychoanalyst. Counselors, on the other hand, usually have a decade or so of training before they are admitted to a psychoanalytic college.

Basic training + genre training + supervision fee + personal experience fee, over the years, the cost of millions is often. It takes so much investment to have the professional quality, do you believe that those who do not know how to grow up "Internet celebrity emotion experts" really have?

3. How does a counselor solve my emotional problems?

As mentioned above, consultants are useful because of a lot of learning and practical experience.

In the consultation process, the consultant will observe and collect data from various angles through conversation, sort out materials, and then draw inferences and verify and discuss with the client.

How visitors make their reservation, whether they are on time, which seat they choose, how they start, how they dress, how they sit, how they gesture, how they speak, how fast they speak, how they look, what they say, how long they pause,

These are the materials of information passed on by visitors. This material is happening all the time, and a person who is not professionally trained will be blind to many details and only pay attention to the literal meaning of the other person. But after professional training of psychological counselors, will be more sensitive, more able to capture the visitor's every move conveyed by the information, understand the literal meaning behind the deeper meaning.

In addition to collecting these objective materials, counselors also pay attention to their own subjective feelings.

For example, when the client describes the way to get along with his colleagues, the consultant will also be curious whether this way also appears in his interaction with the visitor, so the consultant will feel his own feelings, such as the client makes him feel pressure, or feel sympathy for the other side, or arouse the desire to help the other side and protect the other side.

Through their own experiences, the counselor tries to understand whether the client's relationships in life might cause similar feelings for others. Based on the objective materials of the client and the consultant's own subjective feelings, the consultant sorted out some inferences and verified them by asking questions.

Does the way you relate to your colleagues have happened before?

Was there a similar situation at your last company?

Did it happen when you were at school?

Did it happen at home when you were younger?

In the process of verification, the consultant may find some recurring patterns and show them to the client to provoke thought and discussion.

4. Don't obsess over counselors who have "helped 10,000 people.

A serious practicing psychological consultant can receive a limited number of visitors in a lifetime, because each client's work is built on the basis of a period of relationship, each period of consultation and visiting relationship cooperation, need to start from the establishment of trust, to mutual understanding, explore together.

If there is no relationship, maybe a counselor can have multiple audiences at the same time, but this is not true counseling. Listeners get a lot of good knowledge, but still don't know how to apply it to themselves to change themselves.

Just like learning to swim, giving you swimming knowledge doesn't make you learn to swim. In effective counseling, the counselor gets in the water and swims with you, not from the shore. The process takes time, and the longer each client works, the fewer clients the consultant can see in his or her lifetime.

So don't be superstitious about those counselors who claim to read countless people. A heart-based consulting relationship is just like a relationship. It is a serious relationship, not a one-night stand, so it can't read many people.

The above answer is to help people rationally and objectively understand the profession of consultants, seek help from professionals in time when needed, and avoid being misled by a variety of mixed information on the market.