Harsh Truths On Why We Can't Find Love, Happiness, And Lasting Relationships

I had a feeling this girl was emotionally messed up before I even met her.

She tried to sell me on God, telling me she was full of pain, and lighted up a cigarette every twenty minutes.

ARRR. I hate it when people smoke around me.

I met her on Tinder (you probably heard about this crap). I thought, "give it a chance and see if you're even right".

Well. I wasn't wrong. After 10 years of meeting women, you can quickly tell what you're dealing with.

Now, this girl was also pretty and sweet. I'm sure she didn't have any bad intentions whatsoever. We just didn't click.

I've had great dates in my life and some terrible ones.  Here's me trying to make sense of everything.

#1 We carry childhood traumas

I'm not sure if I carry some childhood traumas, but I definitely have some baggage from later stages of my life. This sort of stuff requires the kind of "deep work" you need a therapist for. It was probably the best thing I've ever done in my life. The investment with the highest return.

#2 We don't love ourselves

Even though it has become a bit of "trendy advice" lately, I think it's true. I met some fucked up people who acted like complete idiots 24/7.  They ruined their own happiness alongside everybody else's happiness around them (who would want to spend time with a person like that)

Love yourself to be able to love the other, that kind of thing.

#3 We don't even try

If you're sitting at home waiting for a hot girl or the perfect guy to knock on your door, please don't.

I think it should be obvious for most people (or at least adults)- you have to try to be able to succeed.

#4 Tech has made it easy to jump around

I don't blame Tinder or some shit like that. If anything, it enriched my life's experience. But I think it might make everything a BIT "too easy". Easy to run away at a moment's notice, the minute something isn't working. In the back of mind my, there's a tiny, stupid voice that says, "You don't need this shit. Just go out or play with the apps and meet a new girl." An easy trap to fall into. Don't.

#5 We don't settle

That's really a good one, I think. If you aren't willing to settle because you know you're not happy with your guy/gal, you're doing both of you a favour. Even if, at the moment, it means some hearts will be broken. If you're truly moving forward on your path, the right partner will come.

#6 We take zero responsibility

That probably applies to men more than to women, but still. Many men don't take responsibility for their careers, bodies, or social skills. I met women who refused to acknowledge their obvious issues. I'm far from perfect, but people need to get their shit together and take care of it, whatever the problem might be. You can't expect to be happy if you sweep your problem under the rug.

#7 We adopted other people's standards

I have a friend who always told me how he appreciates "quality women" who are pretty, smart, entrepreneurial, and great-looking all at the same time. Now he's with a girl who doesn't necessarily qualify for all of these, but he loves her to pieces. Instagram has definitely washed our brains. Like, real good.

#8 We are growing

My favourite one. I made millions of mistakes when I first started dating. I probably made every mistake a guy can make. I simply ruined a date, after date, after a date. If you learned from it, it wasn't a mistake. Don't be hard on yourself.

If you're a grown-ass man looking to meet more quality women, join my email list here, where I talk about how to create an abundant dating life