Harry isn't Gossiping

It seems impossible to turn on a screen lately and not see something about something Prince Harry revealed in his book. A lot of personal details were shared, and a lot of public opinions have been formed. I personally have not yet read the book, nor do I plan to, but there's been enough shared that I have formed an opinion of my own as well. The story of a blacksheep trying to share their side is all too familiar for me, and it triggers a kind of pain that is only understandable to those who have also felt it; a kind of pain I am perpetually trying to find words for, but have yet to find.

Upon first review, it seems as if Harry is taking this as his chance to 'talk trash' about the Royal Family. From what I've seen so far, the intricacies that Harry has revealed have been labelled 'gossip', 'slander', 'hateful' and even 'evil'. I'm sure most, if not all, of these judgements come as a complete shock to Harry, as they did to me when I attempted a similar journey towards sharing my truth. What I thought would be my comeback story was actually the start of my fall deeper into depression. What I thought would make people care about me made them mad at me. What I thought would save my life nearly killed me.

It seems these days, the general consensus is "but they're family*!" (*'family' is interchangable with 'your mother' or 'your father' or 'your sister'). It seems to be an unwritten rule that you don't speak out against your own family, no matter what. But the truth of these scenarios, the most heartbreaking part of it, is that someone should have been there to say "but that's your child". No one was there to see what happened behind closed doors, and it's often unimaginable to the average person. The behaviours a child keeps secret for a parent become to painful to hold onto as their adult brain finally comprehends it, and it starts to spill out. The pain they probably didn't even realize they were feeling is brought to the surface and suddenly they want answers. But an abusive family will never provide the answers the emotionally injured family member is looking for, so they go looking elsewhere.

In my opinion, Harry is not sharing these details to "tattle" on his family or make them look bad. He isn't trying make people hate them or even angry with them. He's trying to make them stop hurting him. He's hoping there's some higher authority figure out there who can say "stop treating your son/brother like that!", but there is no one. So he screams it into the void, which is the worst place to scream if you're looking for help. It often just echos back to you ten times louder, and in a way that is distorted from the original scream. Sharing his truth has likely caused more pain, which was the opposite of what he'd imagined I'm sure.

Unfortunately for some families, and most likely especially the Royal Family, it doesn't pay to take back the family member that sees the truth. It's cheaper to live in a hateful lie, no matter how much the loved one is begging to be loved.