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Happy parents in their later years

by Gu Wei Di Qi 2 months ago in dating / family / advice
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What are the children like

Happy parents in their later years
Photo by Mark Stosberg on Unsplash

I still remember many years ago, I read a story like this.

The single mother worked hard to raise her son, who grew up and studied abroad for his mother and settled down there.

When the mother was about to retire, she happily planned to live with her child abroad, but then the son sent a check: "Sorry, Mom, you're not welcome to live with us, this check is for your support for all these years.

I think any other mother, seeing this, will be very cold, and even feel that all these years of hard work have been paid for nothing.

Parents raise us small, we raise our parents old, this saying is extolled by many people, but few people can practice it.

Whether the child is filial, whether the parents' old age is happy, and whether the child is successful are not directly related, and even, the more the child is successful parents, may be more difficult to be happy in their old age.


As a 70-year-old man said: Most old people who are happy in their old age are not particularly successful in their children's lives.

Children who are not particularly successful can give their parents more companionship and care in their old age

The two children, a doctor from Songhua and a doctor from NP, bought a house in Beijing after graduation and settled down. It can be said that both children are very promising, and the parents have a lot of energy, to provide for two Ph. D. students from China's top institutions.

However, it is a pity that the two old people, who are old, are not willing to go to Beijing to live with their children, so they can only stay in their old home and support each other.

Compared to many old people, this old couple is happy because they still have each other.

Can Yang Fatso once said: "In this world, there is a way to be happy with each other.

It is always difficult to have both the ideal of children and filial piety. The children who are successful stay in the big city to work and live, can not take care of their parents; back home take care of their parents, there is no suitable work. Take your parents to the big city, on the one hand, parents are not used to living there, on the other hand, may not be realistic conditions.

The more successful the children are, the more lonely the parents are, and they may even be too busy to make a phone call home to say hello.

And those who are not so successful children, at least every night you can call home, talk to your parents chat, holidays can often come home to see.

It seems that children are too successful, although in the economy will not treat their parents, it is difficult to give parents more company and care, and even a trip home to calculate the cost of time, economic costs, a year can not see their parents a few times.

The bondage is more, people are not so free.

When people get older, they will always miss their children, in case of a serious illness or pain, if there is no child around, it is helpless and frightening.

It's a great help that those children who are very successful, are bound to invest a lot of time and energy in their work and children's education, and not much can be given to their parents.

Therefore, from this perspective, parents do not expect their children to have much success when they get older, and their children are more successful, but also than the joy of having children and grandchildren around the knee and children around.

However, the reality is helpless, the reality of too many parents and children, having to endure the pain of missing the separation. In such a situation, the elderly have to have their social circle and things to do to relieve the longing for their children.

Children are "not much good", but they can still feel that the children need them, and the elderly will not feel too lost

As a parent, you have been with your child for a decade or two since you were a child, and it seems like your child grew up overnight.

When you wake up one day and suddenly realize that your children don't really need and depend on you anymore, you will inevitably feel a little lost. For a child who has grown up, there may be things he knows and things he is doing that his parents don't understand.

So every time we meet, we can only talk about parental matters and reminisce about the old days.

For children who are not "nothing", parents still have a very important role in life, such as first time to seek help from their parents in times of trouble, and will seek their parents' advice on major family matters.

Children born by themselves may need their parents to help bring them up, or busy with work, need their parents to help cook and take care of the home.

Between this back and forth, parents have a sense of the value of being needed and seen, and the strong interaction of children with their parents can make them feel that their children are close to them. It can also feel like the child is still a child, even though he or she has grown up.

In such a relationship, communication between parents and children becomes full and intimacy is more sustained. Compared to children who hire nannies to help take care of their aging parents but only go back to see them once or twice a year, there is no doubt that parents will get more out of the former.

When you live a life, finances are important. Being productive is also what we strive for in life.

But as they say in economics, the buttocks determine the head.

When we were in high school, our parents didn't let us read love, and they didn't let us have male and female friends until college, but once we graduated, we were urged to get married. At this time, we do not even have an object, who should be married to go?

The reason for inserting such a sentence is to say that many things in the world are not difficult to take for granted.

Parents have parents' difficulties, and children also have children's difficulties, but each person at each stage, needs different things, the same thing of view, is different.

As parents, no matter whether our children are successful or not, our inner love will not decrease or increase a few points. Filial piety in later years may not only be the same as seen in the form, many things can not be forced.

In this generally stressful society for young people, the only thing between parents and children is more understanding and tolerance, more transposition and self-regulation, between the two generations can be fewer complaints and more gratitude.

Everyone grows old, and what everyone looks forward to the most when they grow old is love, care, and attention to their children.

May we all be a child who is still productive, who does not let our parents down, who can do our best to be good to our parents, who can help our parents as much as we can in their old age, and who knows how to repay our parents' kindness.


About the author

Gu Wei Di Qi

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