For His Love

Start writing...After all these years, I'm surprised he still remembers me. Hold on a minute, you wouldn't know who told him I was back in town, would you? Of course you do, Samara sighed, not able to look her sister in the face any longer. Kiara you know my situation. What I look like jumping into a relationship right now, I gotta focus on finding a job and getting back on my feet.

Dang Mara, calm down! Your acting as if I said he wants you to move in and get married. You really have to tone that "Wear my feelings on my sleeve" attitude down a bit. I know you and Tray just split, damn I would love to be with someone for 10yrs. Ya? Well I would love for you to be with someone for 1yr.

I deserved that, Kiara said as she came into the living room with 2 wine glasses. It really wasn't planned though, how was I supposed to know Desmond was going to be at Ziggies? Girl, I don't know why you like that club, Samara replied, taking a sip of wine. One way in, one way out, never excited me. No, maybe not, but you meeting Desmond there surely did.

Kiara that was ages ago, we were barely out of high school when Desmond and I dated. Well personally you and Desmond had a great thing going and probably would still be together if Mom hadn't been going through her mid-life crisis and decided to move halfway across the world with us. Goes to show, the grass ain't always greener on the other side. Sometimes you gotta stand up and face life not run from it. Playfully chocking on the wine she just sipped Samara looked at her little sister who had such a serious Ora going, 3 glasses of wine and now your throwing out life quotes?

Okay Samara, you got jokes. Anyway Desmond gave me his number and I promised to deliver, so here you go. Just give him a call whenever your ready. Taking the folded napkin from Kiara a flood of memories started to return of her and Desmond. Kiara was right, those were the best days of my life.

Aw, I see your thinking about it, Kiara said as she poured the last of the wine in her glass. Maybe, I replied. It's been so long since we talked or even seen each other. Even if I still look the same to him, inside I'm destroyed with a lot of baggage. Samara, it's a phone call, what can it hurt?

After the second bottle of wine and a little more reminiscing, Kiara and I decided to call it a night. You gonna be okay, Kiara asked handing me a blanket and a pillow? Sorry I don't have one of those pull out couches. It's okay sis, I replied, this is fine. Before turning to go upstairs Kiara stopped and staggering back to the sofa where I laid, leaned down and hugged me with all her drunkness.

Samara she said in a slurred way, I'm really sorry about you and Tray. I know I joke around a lot but that's the only way I know how to deal with pain and hurt. Really? Well all jokes aside, your hurting my legs. See there Kiara blurted out, I can't be serious around your sarcastic ass as she got up and headed upstairs.

Pausing once more, hey for what it's worth and outside of the circumstances, I'm really glad your here. Don't like the idea that I gotta make it upstairs to pass out now, but I think I can handle it. I love you too chick and thanks for everything. I promise not to hold your sofa hostage for too long. We both laughed, good night girl for real this time cause this wine is about to have me sleeping on the floor.

After listening to Kiara stubble around upstairs for awhile before silence consumed everything. I lay there wandering how she does it. Living in this house alone, not even a cat or a dog to keep you company. Didn't she want to be held at night? Kisses on the forehead, that seemed to take all the stress of the day away at once.

As I thought about it more, I realized how much alike and how different my little sister and I were. Having a husband and a family was my life purpose. Kiara was more like, "I like my privacy, my space, and to come and go as I please." "Ain't no way I will let a man rule me, she once said." After these last few days I started to wander if I too could embrace Kiara's logic or would I be devoured in my search for true love.

That morning with a headache out of this world(from the wine or the few tears I shed before finally dozing off) I scrambled upstairs in search of my deranged other half and anything to get rid of the splitting headache I had. To my surprise Kiara was nowhere to be found. What time is it? I knew I must have slept in because Kiara was not a morning person. For her to be gone,it had to be well past 1:00pm.

I was right, the clock on the nightstand read 2:30pm in bright red numbers. Wow, I must have been really drained to have slept this late. Pacing back and forth trying to figure out where Kiara would have pain meds(a normal person believes in using the medicine cabinet) I gave up. Grabbing my cellphone I dialed Kiara's number frantically as my head began to throb. It only rang twice before Kiara's loud chirpy voice yelled, "you finally awake?"

Yes, Kiara I'm up and my head is killing me! Take something, she shot back. I would if I could find something, I snapped back at her. I didn't want to rumble through your things, so I called. Your crazy, I would have been all in your stuff, by the way I borrowed your shirt, it matched my shoes, she laughed.

Kiara the meds please, I yelled at her. Okay Samara chill, look in the second drawer in my nightstand. I think I have a bottle of Tylenol or Advil. Okay thanks, I said opening the drawer to the nightstand. You gonna be out long, I asked as I moved things around in search of my relief.

Maybe another hour at the most. Tanya can't figure out what shoes she wants to get for tomorrow night. You still hanging out with her after what happened? I never expected this, she ain't stealing again is she? No Samara ain't nobody stealing nothing.

I could sense the way she replied I had struck a nerve. Backing off the subject and focusing more on my task, I noticed a blue pill bottle that didn't have a label. Kiara I don't see any Tylenol or Advil, but there's a blue pill bottle in here without a label. Samara don't mess with that bottle. Look in the top drawer, I'll be home soon.

With that, Kiara ended the conversation without explaining the contents of the mystery bottle. Shrugging the awkwardness and curiosity off, I finally found my relief. I went back downstairs to fumble through my suitcases. Not looking for anything special to wear, I grabbed my favorite sweatpants along with my Black is Beautiful tee. Boy, Kiara could have made it less obvious that she went through my things,but we are talking about someone who never believed in folding things neatly.

Feeling refreshed from the hot shower and with my headache gone, I could ponder over my next steps. Okay Samara, find a job and look for housing. Easier said than done considering we lived in a small town where colored folks got the shitty jobs and the most affordable housing based on the pay was through the housing authority. Since I wasn't going to accept either option, I told myself it was time to go hard or go home. The only problem with my self motivation speech, I was already home and going hard was something I never had to do.

As I set at the kitchen table starting to feel hopeless, the conversation of last night resurfaced. Desmond Little or "smooth operator" Kiara nicknamed him. Perfect teeth with a smile that would make you melt. There is no way a man of his stature could be single. There you go again Samara, always over thinking.

Of course Desmond is single or he wouldn't have given Kiara his number to pass on to me, right? Ugh, there I go again. It wasn't a marriage proposal Samara, I could hear Kiara's loud mouth in my ear and found myself giving in to it. At the same time I was really giving into myself. It's just a phone call, Trey got 3 months of betrayal under his belt.

By the time I started to slip into my "feel sorry for me" trance, Kiara came busting through the door as if on que. Just like I thought, you sitting here pouting, but dang whatever happened to "I can look better than I feel?" Anyway, we going out tonight so get your mind right and your game up. Hold on a minute, who is "We"? Before I got an answer Kiara darted out of the kitchen with her bags swinging.

Knowing the answer already and intrigued by the invite a sly smile started to spread across my face. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. Instead of second guessing myself about calling Desmond, we could magically run into each other tonight. How do I ensure he shows up? Kiara, I yelled as I ran up the stairs, I need your help.