First 100k is a Bitch

I have been trying for 2 years to save 100k.

Since last March 20, 2020. Its been 17 months. Of saving and still trying to enjoy life. I've managed to have 91,300 in investments so far. Hoping to make the 100k by 23. I got 7 more months I guess.

I don't even pay rent at the moment.

I want to build up a rental empire. Or a airbnb empire to be honest.

But everything costs money and I need money to make money.

I'm living with my parents to save that money.

I haven't had to pay rent or real bills this whole time- just my outing money.

I can't afford a pet or a boyfriend if I need to split things with them.

Unless we buy a house for our future and they help pay for the mortgage. I just don't want to throw money away on housing when I don't need to.

I am fine with spending money on vacations because I know I can come back to living rent free. And I justify it by saying it's money I would've spent anyways if I had to rent.

I sometimes have to sacrifice hanging out with friends too because of it. It's kind of sad.

I want to travel and have new experiences again.

I feel stuck in a rut trying to obtain this 100k, but for what?

Just so I can remind myself I need another 900k to get to 1million?

And to retire I would basically need 2million in investments?

I honestly think I can get there, but I need a business. Probably with real estate. But I don't know the Texas market. And I wish I had a partner who would want to invest in our futures together with real estate.

But there is another part of me that wants to say fuck the money.

And to live in a 3rd world country just experiencing the world in a different light again. In peace core, or another volunteer program.

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I kind of dread weekends now because of how much I work.

I grind way too much.

I will have earned 1000k this week. From these cleaning, nannying, and odd jobs.

If I was actually able to keep that up, I'd be making 5k a month. Which is not bad for me at this age- simply because I have never been able to make more than that in a month previously. That summer I grinded in Seattle, I only made 8k in 3 months. SO MAKING 5K IN A MONTH? That's a big deal.

I can only relax during the weekdays with my remote job. But even now I think I signed myself up to have to wake up early every Monday-Friday for that extra money.

I better enjoy the shit out of Washington DC and just being able to relax and not work. Same for Las Vegas.

I really should have just worked a service job for Las Vegas. I could be earning way more.

I think that is why I want to do one of those service trips so bad. To tie me back to the bigger picture, that life is not all about money. And I will be okay.

There's two paths I see- one where I take the path that may not bring me as much money, but I do find rewarding and joyful.

The other path is where I do grind for money, own investment properties, ect, to pay for a freeing lifestyle. I own stocks and theoretically should be happy because I am at least not worried about cash- but now I am running a business.

I still would do things like classes to enjoy the present and now- but also I would hopefully be able to travel later in life and feel more secure doing so.

I don't know which path I will choose. But living in a foreign country seems to be more rewarding and fun then this grind.