Feminism is Making Masculinity the Standard of Empowerment

Feminism, like it or loathe it, was the first movement of its type to promote gender equality. It was the fight for the right of women, but that is only the roots of the movement. In reality, over the decades, feminism as a movement has also deemed itself responsible to protect the rights of men too. And more importantly, the aim is to allow men to live as holistic humans, instead of pretending to be some superhero all the time, and to allow women to find their own ground in the world — things men and women have been denied for centuries because of the inherent stereotypes attached to the different genders.

While masculinity was always about men being eternally strong, resilient, and unbreakable, it was more like men are not human hence being shamed for showing emotions. On the parallel, femininity taught women to be soft, kind, and tolerant, but in reality, it was more about being subservient and dependent, shunning away any opinions, or realising that women are also individual thinking beings.

Feminism as a movement recognised the difference between men and women in order to fight for the equality of opportunity for everyone regardless of gender and the distinguishments that come with it. Because we realised that people were being given different lives because of these differences, essentially more disadvantaged ones to women.

The most important thing was that men and women are treated with fairness and that we do not disadvantage either because of the attributes that we subconsciously attach to them because of the stereotypes that we have been fed for centuries. And so this very base of these attributes of feminine and masculine traits and the movement fighting for equal opportunities for all was never going to be easy to digest for us as a society.

And the state of feminism as a label, movement, ideology, or whatever else it has become today, really does radiate complexity.

Reclaim femininity in feminism

Reading the book ‘Reclaim Your Heart’ by Yasmin Mogahed, a motivational speaker and psychologist, I realised I was on a journey. As an individual growing to realise the necessity of feminism as a movement in the world I live in, I am always keen on learning, and this book truly enlightened me on all things important for any spirit: feminism, religion, love, and life.

In discussing the nature of modern feminism the vision of a modern empowered woman was challenged:

“She had accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man: the standard.”

This makes one realise how this world has misshapen the essence of feminism. We have been fighting for the rights of women, to be treated as equals because we respect the differences. It was never about shedding away our femininity to become exactly the same as men in order to get respect.

When a woman went out to work, she had to ditch the dress and accept the pant-suit to be given the same position as a male. Does this show any respect for the differences? It is correct women have chosen the outfits themselves and clothes say very little about a person’s capability to do the job. But there still remain people who bark about the so-called hypocrisy of women who talk about ‘equality’ but won’t ditch the high heels and make-up in the workplace just like men. It is as though women’s femininity is a stain and masculinity is superior to all. So if we want respect and fair treatment, we must adhere to masculine guidelines.

Feminism has suddenly shifted to view an empowered woman as one who is more masculine. Essentially a woman is only empowered when she leaves many of her feminine traits. In doing so we are becoming an ignorant society. Denying the differences or amalgamating the differences is not the answer to the prejudice against women and gender inequality. In doing so we are giving in to the narrative that men are indeed stronger and that masculinity is the trait that should prevail above all.

Feminism is about upholding femininity

Being feminine isn’t inferior, and it definitely does not just mean wearing dresses, liking the colour pink, and being emotionally weak. Being feminine entails so much more than just physical appearances. If we are to be rational about this we must all agree that we all have a mixture of attributes from the two traits.

Being an empowered woman should not mean copying men, because that means that is the standard for women. Contrary to popular beliefs women are actually very emotionally stable, strong, and mature. Our emotions are not controlled by just mood swings or irrational reactions.

The view that masculinity is the only truly empowerment is incorrect. And it is the hostile social attitudes that have compelled the feminist movement to compromise.

While the mission was to secure equality of opportunity for women in society, it has gradually given in and altered itself. The apparent aim is now for women to be more masculine, physically stronger, sharing the same appearances, and being more boisterous in order to get their voices heard. It is not that femininity itself is a problem but rather the distorted mindsets, that will only give respect to people with a certain trait.

Whether a woman wants to be feminine or not is her choice. How much femininity and masculinity she wishes to portray is her choice. How much of her skin she wishes to show is her choice. Whether she wears a Burqa or bikini it is still her choice.

What is crucial, though, is that all people have a choice in the type of people they want to become. Without being compelled by society to act in a different way just because the people, because we as a society will not give people with certain traits enough respect and importance.

Femininity means embracing oneself fully, no matter how masculine or feminine you are. It means to be able to live as yourself, be given equal opportunities despite projecting to be different from the entire crowd. There is beauty in diversity and feminism is about upholding feminity, too.

Originally published in Write Like a Girl, Medium.

https://medium.com/write-like-a-girl/feminism-is-making-masculinity-the-standard-of-empowerment-4f9911f5d46e