Farming The Ocean Floor

Have you ever cried while writing? It is very similar to having a shock wave of emotion crash into you while meditating. After the crash, it is full-blown release. Relief.

I usually enter into the void when writing. Yet it is much more potent than being in the void. It feels much more grounded. Similar to how people find peace and and moments of mindfulness when gardening. Working the dirt with their hands and forging for the space to give to the roots of a plant yet in bloom.

That is how writing is for me. It is the process of diving deep. Into the waters of the subconscious. To find the floor and forging and farming for the ideas to rise to the surface.

Oceanography

Without having ever explored the ocean floor, I practice a spiritual oceanography. Entering the space of the unknown, as it were. The subconscious mind, that is. The symbol of water can represent so much in human consciousness. Above all it represents emotion, feeling, wading through all the rushes, ebbs and flows of life itself. The ocean however represents the subconscious mind. Where emotion is thought to originate and where the Awareness of all connects us all to one another.

That's why writing as a form of zen meditation is so liberating. I type without looking at the screen. As I am doing right now. I allow the words to flow. Without thought to the minute details. That comes at the end. But before the final edit, in those moments, I am suspended into the ocean to wade, to dream, to wonder.

It is freedom in its essence. To give the mind the prompt -- allowing it to be the guide and my fingertips to follow.

Judgement

The act of creation is walking in faith. It is trusting the process without seeing the final edit. It is the assumption that what I am committing to now will bring about a condition necessary for my evolution.

It is a relief of the concept of judgment. And really, that is what meditation is -- it is an attempted acceptance of the ego and for that very acceptance comes the lack of judgment. It is truly resistance that creates the difficulties that we then must face in life. We choose to battle because for so many of us that is what we have become accustomed to. Living in a world that decries judgement of self and other yet actively participate in it.

And in some sense that's why we can't see past each other because we are so hell-bound on finding the flaws the imperfections and picking them apart.

When, in the true magnificence of paradox, it is the flaws that makes things worth while because it is a reminder. A reminder of our humanity. Our similarities to tend toward error.

Self-Knowledge

When we give ourselves the space and time to write, we are giving ourselves permission to speak from a higher authority.

It is the same as refining one's intuition after years of meditation. One can easily enter into a theta state and find the answers to the problems that just moments ago could have been a barrier to ease.

Through this act, I have stretched further than I thought capable. My writing continues to gush forth like a spring found by only a select few. Self-doubt is churned into self-knowing. I am stilled and settled whenever I return to the rhythmic clacking of my keyboard. It is the pattering similar to a beating heart. Knowing that I am seeing my self living life on a page that I create. This erasure of self-doubt comes with full fledged faith in the creative process.

It may be chaotic in the moments looming before that final moment of clarity. The calm is only promised to those who are willing to dive deep into the chaos.