F*ck Baggage

We've all got baggage, whether it's emotional or psychogical. Whatever kind of bagagge it is we've all got it. I know I have baggage, a matching set. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I'm profane, I have a dirty mind and I have a crazy personality. But aside from all that, I've got baggage. Abuse, Drinking problems, two assaults and an eating disorder haunting me. I'm not "normal" whatever that is. I have triggers that will haunt me for years to come. I have a lot of pent up anger. I have anger towards my ex, my family, so many people. It's sad. I'm trying to soften my heart. Anyways my baggage is heavy. I don't expect anyone else to carry it, that wouldn't be fair. I need to carry it. It's my baggage. I need to unpack it myself. But sometimes in my quietest moments, I wish I had someone to help me unpack. Unpack my baggage. Unpack years of trauma and abuse. Years of not feeling good enough or like everything I do is wrong. Years of not feeling like I would accomplish anything. But that's not necessarily fair. I can't expect someone to help me unpack. I can't expect someone to be there for me 24/7. I can't expect someone to act as a therapist. I need to learn to think for myself. Nobody can do that for me. I'm an adult. I don't know exactly when I'll heal but I'm sure working on it. If you can relate to this in anyway please know that you're not alone. You are most definitley enough. You do matter and nothing you do is wrong. There will be people who will tell you to get over it, and stop being so dramatic. There will be people who will probably tell you that you're making it all up. Those people don't deserve a position in your life. They don't get it. They don't understand, you can't expect them to necessarily. You can't expect them to relate to everything you've been through. They don't deserve a place in your life if they're going to tell you to get over it. Or that you're being dramatic. They should love you enough to be there as you unpack your baggage. They should love you enough to know that you went through hell and back. They should know you're a soldier returning half your weight. They should know you were broken in some form. We all have baggage in one form or another. We all have things haunting us daily. We all have demons and moments of darkness. We've all had moments that will forever change the course of our lives and change who we are as people. We've all had things happen that will make us question our faith in humanity and ourselves. We've all had moments that've broken us and shaped us into different people. We've all had things tramatize us in ways that we'll never be able to explain. The point is we all have baggage, some of us a matching set. And we just need one thing at the end of the day. One thing that will make us a little happier and a trust people a little more and hopefully heal a bit more each day. We need support. We need people around us who love and care for us. We need people who are there for us through thick and thin. Through sickness and health. And most of all if we're really really lucky, despite all the B*lls*it we've been through over the course of our lives we'll find someone who will help us unpack.