Everything Happens for a Reason

We hugged tightly, standing in the damp, cold that we were forced to call our summer for the past few years; my phone tightly pressed up against my ear. My Uber had arrived to take me home after a long, physically and emotionally tiring day.

“Are you in the bright orange Chevrolet sir?” I called into the phone as the grip of our embrace loosened.

“Yes, I’m here by the bus station.”

“I’m right here. I’m the one with all the bags,” I chuckled as I abruptly hung up the phone. I quickly turned and waved goodbye to my friend as she walked past me towards the subway station.

“Bye Nidi,” I waved.

I quickly placed all my bags in the backseat of my bright Orange ride for the next ten minutes while wondering to myself, probably for the 100th time within the last six months, whether becoming an Uber driver could be a possible career choice for me. My train of thought was quickly interrupted by my Uber driver's kind voice.

“Hello Aisha. How are you today?”

“I’m fine, thank you. It’s been a long day. But I’m glad it’s over,” I replied, huffing from, I assure you, the very minimal exertion of energy that felt costly to my breath. I could barely answer his question. I needed a minute to gather myself, settle in, and get comfortable for the ride; knowing it was going to come to an end soon; a mindset forged by my experience in life, and perhaps my biggest problem? I wasn’t too sure. I reached for my seatbelt to buckle when the driver spoke.

“Aisha, where would you like to go today?”

'That’s strange,' I thought to myself. Usually when I requested a ride, I opted to insert my destination in advance, all so that I could avoid doing the one thing I hadn’t enjoyed doing as often as I used to; talking.

“Didn’t the address show up on your phone sir?” I asked politely.

“Yes, actually it did.”

How strange? Why was he asking me where I needed to go. I had taken many Uber rides in the past, the drivers would usually just check their GPS. As he began to drive, I turned my head towards my window to look outside, as I usually did during car rides, plane rides, AND train rides; basically, whenever I sat in a moving vehicle, I sat near a window. I seem to find comfort in staring out the window, watching the world move past me at a faster pace than I could ever see my own life move. I’ve always felt at a standstill; stuck moving at a pace so slow that it felt as though the rest of the people in my life were fast approaching the finishing line of this race that I viewed as horrific! It was my worst nightmare, and I was stuck in it.

My attention was quickly diverted from the view outside my window to the grumbling of my stomach. I hadn’t eaten anything since before I left my sister’s house this morning. I remember hesitating to warm up a bowl of soup afraid for, in my mind, in my very confused and emotionally scattered mind, I thought they, my sister and her husband, would mind. The voice of my wounded subconscious, the subconscious that had now harbored layers of grief, anger, paranoia, low self-esteem, sadness, and even greater amounts of trust issues from before, scolded me as I questioned whether I should eat something before I moved my things out. I had never lived on my own before. Would I get to eat later? I turned and looked at the driver through his rearview, as he caught my glance.

“Sir…” I called hesitantly as I could see the blue colored trip that had remained on Google Maps of his phone’s GPS.

“Yes?” he responded kindly.

“I’m feeling a little hungry. My friend and I were supposed to eat at the mall, but we got so caught up in ‘catching up’ that when we looked up around us, the food court was closed. We didn’t get to eat.” I laughed awkwardly, wondering to myself why I felt inclined to tell him more than he needed to know, or wanted to know for that matter. The voice inside my head mocked me “You’re so weird,” she said. UGH!! She can be so mean sometimes!! Instantly regretting the words that came out of my mouth and also realizing that I would have to go through the process of changing the ‘destination’ in my phone to that of where I wanted to grab food from, I quickly changed my mind, as I do often, and told the driver not to bother. “It’s okay sir, you can just take me home. I realize the process, and it’s probably too late to eat anyway. I shouldn’t,” I said, trying to sound confident, as I could feel the racing of my thoughts make a comeback.

“You don’t have food at home?” he asked with a slight accent.

“Ummm not really. I just moved in today; a couple of hours ago actually.”

“Oh, where from?”

“Ummm.” I froze. I didn’t want to go there, not even in my mind. We looked at each other through the rearview mirror. I turned my head to face the window and resumed my brain’s innate tendency to get lost in thought; racing thoughts.

“You know? Everything happens for a reason,” he announced, breaking the cyclic tendency of my nagging thoughts.

“Pardon?” I questioned.

“When I got your Uber alert this evening, I was all the way at the other side of the 401. I knew the ride was a short one. I didn’t want to take it. Quite honestly, when you add things up, it wasn’t worth it. I almost didn’t take the call. But something inside of me told me I needed to. It wasn’t easy getting here. There was traffic, and then finally when I beat the traffic, I got stuck in some construction up by the mall. Then when I finally got to the mall, I had trouble finding you. When I called you, you asked me to meet you at the bus station. Now here we are!” he finished.

“I’m sorry for troubling you, sir.”

I could feel the familiar feeling of guilt slowly taking over. I felt terrible. I hated feeling this way.

“Everything happens for a reason Aisha!” he reiterated. “You’re hungry. Something tells me I need to make sure you have food to take home. You need to eat!” he declared!

I glanced at his GPS and noticed we were going in the direction opposite of my new residence. I looked around, which was pointless. I don’t even know why I bothered. The area, though I’d visited in passing for short periods of time, as my new neighborhood, it still needed some getting used to. He could have been taking me to Brampton and I wouldn’t have noticed.

“Sir, it’s okay. Please don’t worry. You can just take me home. I have some snacks. I’ll be fine!” I said, hoping I sounded convincing.

“Starbucks or Subway?”

“Are you sure sir? You’ve gone out of your way already.”

“I had to, I knew there was nothing but a gas station in your area,” he said.

“Alright, Subway. But I’m going to update the destination on my Uber app,” I demanded.

“No, that’s ok. I’m choosing to do this. I can’t allow somebody to go home to nothing to eat, knowing that they’re hungry. Everything happens for a reason, you know?" he added as his voice softened.

“What do you mean?” I asked inquisitively.

“You mean, like paying it forward? Like being given back to by someone else for the things I may have done for others?” I questioned curiously.

“Yes! As I said. You must have done some things right!” he reiterated kindly. Almost as if he knew I'd been hard on myself for feeling like I haven't been doing enough.

“Everything happens for a reason Aisha.”