Humans logo

Escaping My Past... Part Three

Living with anxiety, pain, and depression, I have learned to cope with everything I've been through. I will rise to success. My drive and motivation to succeed is driven by my past experiences.

By Angel 🌹🌹🌹Published 5 years ago • 3 min read
Like
https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1600/1*[email protected]

Age 13

I wake up. My mouth dry and my head throbbing from silently screaming for hours the previous night. I stare at my surroundings. I am in my closet. It’s nearly pitch black. I look down at my arms. I see the scratch marks are still there. The redness is still there developing into a near cut. Flashbacks start to flood my thoughts. I can still see her now. Screaming in my face because I forgot to follow an order. I stood there helpless unable to move. Seeing her with her arm extended ready to hit me. Her wide emerald eyes. From the outside, she's quite beautiful. Long curly black hair, piercing green eyes, and a tall figure. On the inside, however, the devil inside her comes and goes as she loses her temper, usually under the influence of alcohol. I slowly watch it consume her and cloud her judgment. I have no choice. I wince and walk through, bracing for impact. I suddenly remember her taking my arms with her long nails and slowly running them across my skin scraping my skin 'til I bleed. At this point, I don’t feel it. There’s so much adrenaline in my body I can no longer feel her hurting me or hear her words. They come into focus now. “Piece of shit”... "Bitch"... I remember it now as my vision became blurred as I shut all the light out of my room sinking into my closet between the two walls. Immediately out of anger punching my hands against my hard textbooks causing pain to shoot through my hand. For some reason this numbs my pain I feel inside for a few seconds, then begins to hurt physically. My ears began to ring and my tears started to take over. I can no longer stop. I look at my hand, watching both hands, how they violently begin to shake. With several attempts, I grab my pillow and blanket and fall into a deep sleep in the fetal position.

3:00 AM

I can feel the pain now. It shoots up and down my arm every time I move. Looking up I see my long sleeved shirt hanging and decide to put it on to hide everything. It’s my job to keep our reputation of a happy perfect family on the outside. If anyone found out, she would immediately claim I did it in hopes to save her reputation with her friends and the neighbors. My eyes wander to my suitcase. It’s a nice suitcase I got from my aunt. I decide I am done. Slowly I take everything out of my chest located in the back of the closet and work throughout the night, driven by my pain to strategically place my clothing and necessities in one area and the others in another. In order to reduce suspicion, I leave the suitcase empty and put everything I need in the chest downsizing to absolute necessity.

It was 6:30 AM when I decided to pack and make a departure in the future. Unfortunately, I was unprepared for the next challenge I was about to face which mentally traumatized me and I am still having issues with today. However, downsizing and preparing to leave was the best decision I ever made because if I hadn't, I wouldn't be here today. To this day, I live practically out of a suitcase and two backpacks. I don’t ever do drugs or take one sip of alcohol. I have focused on my education in hopes to have a better promise of a future. My situation led me to spend three years planning my escape plan. I called it "The Great Escape." More pain is yet to come... I will not stop until I succeed.

family
Like

About the Creator

Angel 🌹🌹🌹

Hello! I want to explore the world. Escape from my past. Love as much as I possibly can. I am supporter for mental health issues and the LGBT community.

Follow Me on Talk Life: Angel (I will always listen)

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.