Emotional Men

It's a daily challenge being a man who experiences so many different emotions on a regular basis. There are so many ups and downs, so many mental highs and lows. It is a wild roller coaster with no monthly period to ever blame it on! I look around and see most other men as being so stoic and unfazed by life and, at times, I get oddly jealous of them and their "unfeeling abilities." Words don't seem to impact them and they just brush things off and carry on, doing as they please. Could it really be that these types of men just hide their emotions better or suppress them somehow? Or, do they really just not experience very many emotions one way or the other?

Growing up as an emotionally intelligent child was interesting because while I had a great understanding of people in general, I tended to gravitate toward having female friends rather than male friends. Though I desperately wanted to fit in with my own gender, I just was not interested in a lot of the typical things that most boys were. I remember so many times where other boys would get so excited about sports and famous athletes and I would pretend to be interested, all the while I was attempting to gain their acceptance. All the while I did admire their excitement and passion. Sometimes faking that I was interested in their same interests worked, and then sometimes no matter what I did, other boys saw me as weird or weak.

I cannot even begin to count how many times I heard things like:

"He's just sensitive."

"Man up!"

"Quit being a pushover."

"He's a sissy."

"He's feminine!"

Comments like these really negatively impacted me and the way I thought about myself. As an adult, I still cannot say that I am 100% comfortable in my own skin. I begin to have flashbacks of childhood when I find myself in a group of men. I start thinking that I am not strong enough, or smart enough, or make enough money, or confident enough, or manly enough, etc. The list is endless some days. It is a terrible, messy mental battle and I would rather never have to fight. Because I rarely ever feel like I am enough in any regard, over the years I started to feel attracted to men who appear to possess such natural confidence. What some would consider cocky, egotistical, or prideful, I cannot help but admire men to some degree who exhibit these qualities. Maybe, in reality they're just full of hot air, but they seem like their doing well...or, faking well anyhow.

What I am slowly, and stubbornly trying to learn, is that the way I am made is a gift. There is a reason I am different and I don't have to be ashamed about it any longer. I don't fit the mold of what most people think is normal and that is perfectly okay. Possessing compassion for people is a gift and there are many professions that could use men with large amounts of compassion. Every day when I wake up, I can remind myself that there is a higher reason, or long-term purpose that I am the way I am. Who am I to argue with that?

If you are a man or woman who doesn't fit the mold of gender norms, then you are in good company with me. My heart extends to you because I know it's not easy and I truly feel your pain. However, I want you to take a moment today to be thankful for the way you were made. Show yourself some happy self-acceptance, as I don't think you will regret it!