Dudes, Here Are Five Reasons You're Really Dateless

Let's be direct about this; you're probably reading this because you struggle to get a date with a woman. Am I right?

Or, like some men I've spoken to recently, have given up on dating because the challenge isn't worth the effort?

Well, you're not the only one.

As a woman who's exclusively dated men, I know what it's like on the receiving end of your advances. I've also rejected your advances too, just like how you've rejected mine.

So you could say this is my help to you. 

I would be stupid to say we women aren't complicated. And we certainly lie about why we "reject" you, so to speak. We don't want to hurt your feelings, in fear of you labelling us a bitch. 

But I'm willing to take one for the team in the name of helping. If you want my help, that is. 

Dudes, here are five reasons you're really dateless.

You're too aggressive in the dating approach

I was watching a TikTok the other day about a girl who said she went overseas and found the men in that particular country aggressive. I won't go into where she was from and where she went. Those details aren't important.

What's key here is the interpretation of aggressive. It means so many different things to different people. But in her case, it meant:

• Men chased her down the street
• Men wouldn't stop until she gave them her number
• Men would leave notes on her car
• Men would follow her to work or to a restaurant and wait for her

I guess this is when we can fight over what aggressive means. To a woman, though, these are the actions of a stalker. Or someone to feel wary of. It's behaviour that implies he won't take no for an answer.

This type of persistent behaviour sends girls running. 

We don't care how desperate you are, how much you like the girl, this behaviour stinks of an obsessive and scary male. Even if you're not. That's how it's coming across.

It's enough to make a girl who likes you run the other way, too. Keep that in mind the next time you take 'showing a girl you like her' to the extreme.

You think the friend zone will get you the date

Yes, it's nice to start off as friends before turning friendship into romance. It's what my husband and I did. 

But we aren't the rule. We're an exception, for sure.

When a woman sees you as a friend, it's hard to swap that mentality. It means interacting with you in a way that doesn't feel normal or comfortable to them. It means seeing you in a different way that might not be instinctual.

It can also feel deceptive, too. It's like you only became friends to date then. And if they don't date you, the friendship will be over. 

The female now feels completely screwed, and you feel like building trust wasn't worth it. 

Both sides lose, big time.

You don't have anything to sell about yourself

I'm going to get cold about the dating process. 

It's like running a business. You have a product to sell. You are the product, and you're convincing buyers (the women) you're worth investing in. 

In this case, it's worth investing their time and affection, something they guard closely. As close as money, in many ways.

But when it comes time to "sell" yourself, you:

• Don't know how to market yourself - You think women will just come to you. Or you don't believe in telling a woman anything about yourself. Or you don't think you have anything worth sharing, so you keep it to yourself.
• Don't think marketing is a good idea - Why should you have to convince a stranger you're worth taking a chance on? Think about that one, by the way. Convincing strangers to do anything is hard, let alone dating you.
• Don't have anything worth marketing - Your life is lacking on the resume. You don't have the looks, the job, the hobbies, the friends, or anything that sparks an interest in the woman you're seeking.

It's easy to assume women are shallow when you talk about marketing yourself. But we have to it do, too. Dating is a game and everyone is playing.

Quit thinking it's just you who has to do the hard work.

You think the person you're chasing is an alien

Women aren't trophies. And ladies, if you are reading this, remember that. When we do believe that, we can get very lazy with our relationship efforts.

Women are also human beings who have similar thoughts and feelings to you. 

We aren't as different as society has us believe.

Sure, we have different communication methods, for example. But you can get that between friends, family, and men just like you. Sometimes, the problem isn't men versus women. 

It's more like a stranger versus a stranger. The fact we're of opposite sexes isn't always the polarising issue.

If you keep treating us like we come from another planet, you're making it unnecessarily complicated for yourself.

And sometimes it will seem like women are from another planet. In that case, if you keep finding your experiences with them like this, you're more than likely:

• Attracted to the wrong type of women for you
• Don't have enough experience being around women in general
• View women and relationships in a way that no longer aligns with modern values

It's a big old you problem

Why you're dateless might not be on the list. 

• You might join a dating app and women hate your photo. Or your bio. Or how you respond to the first message.
• You might tell them you're divorced, have always been single, or still live with your mother, and they run the other way.
• You might have a list of things that an individual woman won't find attractive, desirable or important to her.
• It's possible you're chasing the wrong type of woman for you, in which anything you do, you will get it wrong.

The worse thing you can do for yourself in this situation is to keep making those same mistakes again. 

Like any goal, if you're techniques aren't producing results, stop doing them.

Even if the theory is right, it doesn't mean you're getting your execution right. 

Change it up and try again.

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