Dropping Toxic People from Your Life

by Sahar C about a year ago in advice

At least high school taught me something.

Dropping Toxic People from Your Life

When I first entered high school, I thought it was important to be in a huge group of friends that I’d stick with until the end. Movies and shows always emphasized this, like Troy Bolton did in High School Musical or Tori did in Victorious. So I surrounded myself with people I thought I’d sail through high school with. People that I thought would have my back, those that I thought I'd make all my memories with. I told myself that they’d be the ones who would be there to pick me up when things got rough and vice versa. I thought that I had the ultimate squad and that nothing could go wrong.

Turns out, I was incredibly naive.

It took a trip to Disneyland, to make me realize I wasn’t genuinely happy with the people I hung out with. At Disneyland, I was surrounded by new people who made me feel I was important to them and knew that these were the people I should surround myself with. I came to terms with the fact that I needed to drop a few people, and it took a while to realize that it was okay to leave others for my own betterment.

If high school has taught me any important life skill, it’d have to be letting go of toxic friends. One can get so blinded by just wanting to be surrounded by people that they can't see which energy they are actually surrounding themselves with. I didn’t see that these ‘friends’ were hurting me and stressing me out with their problems. I didn’t realize that my own personal mental health was taking a toll as my ‘friends’ would project their problems on me, making me feel responsible for helping them.

A toxic person is someone who isn’t right for your mental state, stresses you out, doesn’t put in the same effort as you’ve done for them, and makes you feel drained, and that's just the premise of it. Essentially, they’re a person that you need to break ties with. There comes a time in every teenager’s life that they realize the ‘friend’ that they’re with isn’t good for them at all. It’s toxic to stay in a friendship that isn’t doing anything but causing harm to you.

Of course, it was difficult. Letting go of someone isn’t easy but I knew that staying with them wasn’t healthy. It hurt having to explain to them why but also uplifting to do something for myself. My circle of friends has gotten smaller but I’ve been able to build genuine friendships. Like they say, quality over quantity. Toxic friends come in all shapes and sizes. Some can be hidden, passing out chocolate with micro-aggressions in the wrapper. Some can be indiscreet, where they purposefully hangout with others and Snapchat you directly their fun without even asking if you wanted to tag along.

Removing those people who’ve simply made you feel inferior isn’t the lesson here because some problems in relationships can simply be miscommunication. These can be solved and worked on but you need to see which ones are continuing to bring you stress and are ruining your mental state. Toxic friendships will not only lead to inferior beliefs of yourself but also insecurity in everything that you do and cause you to question yourself on your interactions with your so-called friends.

Besides, the only toxic item you should have in your life should be sung by Britney Spears.

advice
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