Dried Herbs + a Dream

Sixteen year old Sun sat at a similar set up: four dust-loved concrete walls and a window with a sliver of the sunset smirking through. Smoke from her favorite incense stick unfurled into the air and filled the room with notes of citrus and sweet vanilla. Eyes closed and body centered, she followed along to an “Open Your Third Eye in 30 Minutes” guided meditation on YouTube. The low, heavy voice called her to focus on the midpoint of her forehead.

“Picture a small, vibrating light pulsating brighter and brighter.”

With every breath and visualization, Sun grew closer to falling asleep; though, intrusive, skeptic thoughts kept her awake.

“I don’t even feel anything. What even is a third eye? Will I actually see something?”

The low, heavy voice asked her to return to her breath when her mind wandered. Sun’s body had reached the point of deep relaxation; her limbs sunk into the mattress beneath, and her breath became steady. Gradually, she noticed an odd sensation between her eyes. It felt as if her brows were furrowed, but her face was profoundly relaxed. It felt like a small, vibrating orb pulsating brighter and… oh!

Her eyes shot wide open, as her hands frantically patted the bed in search of her phone. She paused the video, and blinked hard. She looked in the mirror and laughed nervously with her reflection.

“Okay…. What just happened?”

That was the first time she answered the call.

I sit here writing this in a room with: four dust-loved, concrete walls and a window with a sliver of the sunset winking through; a tall cup of mint, green tea on one side and a snoring dog on the other. I sat at my altar shortly before sitting down to write. I gave my offerings of tea, water, and my favorite incense. I gave my gratitude to the ancestors and asked them for guidance, love, and protection. I looked in the mirror and reminded myself of my worth and my power. Then, I sat in stillness for a second and remembered the past versions of myself; the versions that couldn’t see this far ahead, let alone imagine who they would become. I’ve come a long way, and at times it’s hard to acknowledge that. There are some things you can’t quite explain, or show tangible results for. To someone that values the material over the spiritual, the tangible over the abstract, faith and spiritual growth may seem like a waste of time. However, I’ve come to find that the physical and the spiritual worlds are very much intertwined.

I come from the land of green mangos and loroco. My ancestors were earth-tending people; people with dirt under their fingernails, and a deep relationship with plants. I was born on said land, yet I was raised in a much different world. Though the hot summers and June bugs of Southern California reminded me of my motherland, there was a craving in my heart that it couldn’t quite suffice. As I grew older, moved to different places, and fell in and out of love, I realized that vacancy wasn’t something a person or place could fill.

At age 19, my grandfather passed away. I met his death with an intense desire for connection and self-fulfillment. I had just lost a person I never even got to know, and my heart couldn’t take that. There were stories I wanted to hear, music I wanted to exchange, and laughter I wanted to share, but, overnight, those possibilities disappeared. I didn’t even feel worthy of crying. I didn’t know how to grieve somebody I hadn’t really known. It was then that I asked for help.

The help came unknowingly at first. Small nudges of guidance would come in the form of new ideas, cravings, and intuition. The more I listened, the more I became aware that I was being divinely guided, protected, and loved. I was taught to heal through movement; I danced away my emotions, and connected to someone I thought I lost. I mingled with the spirits of plants, learned to care for them, learned how to nourish them, and, in doing so, learned to care for and nourish myself. I listened. For the first time, I really listened. I let myself get lost in the sound of ocean waves and ravens cawing. I had conversations with complete strangers that would change my life forever. Divination entered my life, and my altar slowly came into being. Tarot became a tool for further, and directly, connecting to my ancestors, angels, and guides. The weight of the deck became a familiar feeling in my palm. And in the midst of everything, I found what I was looking for. Faith and spirituality held their hand out to a feeble Sun.

There is no ending to this story, as it is continuously unfolding. What brings me true fulfillment is this path of reclamation, healing, and learning and unlearning. This process of finding and reclaiming my ancestral roots, medicine, and practices has been transformational to say the very least. It has opened up opportunities for deep connection and community building that I never guessed I would be stewarding. If I have learned anything throughout my journey, it is that all of us carry essential medicine that only we can give and deliver. It is this sentiment in particular that I wish to instill in folks through my offerings. I am not here to heal people or cure their heartaches; I am here to help them discover the power within to do so themselves. As an intuitive, holistic healer my intention is to guide folks through their own healing process by providing them with tangible and spiritual tools to help them on their journey.

My membership offerings would be accessible to folks from all walks of life. Whether you are a well-off plastic surgeon looking to connect to a deeper sense of self, or an immigrant from Guatemala seeking to connect back to your roots. After all, this is what I already find myself doing. Members would have access to exclusive workshops focused on topics such as, but not limited to:

On Healing Heartbreak

Trusting Your Gut: How to Connect to Intuition

What is Shadow Work?

Healing Ancestral Wounds + Uplifting Ancestral Joy

Tending to Your Roots: Healing through Gardening + Basic Herbalism

Trusting the Tarot: a Starter Guide to Divination

Trusting + Thriving: a Guide to Releasing + Flowing

There would also be an option to purchase all offerings through one-time payments rather than a subscription for those who need that flexibility. In addition to workshops, there would be exclusive weekly or monthly content from myself such as:

Tarot for the Month Ahead

Weekly Affirmations

Plant Based Recipes

Movement Meditations

Let’s Ask Spirit: Monthly Q+A’s

Members would also have the option to book one-on-one spiritual consultations with me or longer term spiritual mentoring.

This is the type of guidance and support I wish I would’ve had when I dove head first into spirituality. In retrospect, there are a lot of lessons I could’ve learned without so much resistance had I had the knowledge and experience I have today. My work is, and always will be, an ode to past versions of myself and the love and healing they needed; it is for that freaked out, confused sixteen-year-old trying to open her third eye.

I sit here once more filling the bottom of my glass with fresh mint, dried alfalfa, and honey; the setting sun smiles through the kitchen window. As I watch the boiling water cascade over the herbs, my hope is that my words and my story, at the very least, sparked some joy and curiosity within. Thank you for journeying with me. May we all continue to be divinely blessed, divinely loved, and divinely protected.

And so it is.