Don’t Settle for Less Than You Deserve
Emotional abuse and coercive control is something that needs to be addressed.
At the age of 19, she was pushed down the stairs by her boyfriend, because she was too young... and she wanted to keep the baby.
At the age of 20 years old, he drifted further and further away from his friends, because he wasn’t ALLOWED to go to the pub with his mates.
At the age of 21, she was too scared to leave the house without makeup on, because he told her that she didn’t look right without her false eyelashes.
And by the age of 22, she screamed at him to turn on his Snapchat maps, because she didn’t believe him when he said where he was going.
Emotional abuse is sadly a very real thing in today’s society, and we need to speak up.
I’m not talking about laws.
I’m talking about as people, as a community, we need to acknowledge the fact that it’s happening and make sure people know that it’s okay.
The Red Flags
People often may not realise that they are caught up in an emotionally abusive relationship until an outsider points out the red flags. So PLEASE, if you suspect that your friends or family may be in this situation... say something.
Emotional abuse can start off so small. For example:
- Telling you what you can and cannot wear.
- Preventing you from seeing friends or family.
- Not allowing you to do anything out of your own free will.
- Tracking your whereabouts.
We live in a society that craves love and compassion, but this does not mean that we should settle for less than what we deserve. We encourage people to “Be You”—but how can we be ourselves if we let other people define our actions?
Throughout my research, I have come across the term "Gaslighting." This is when the individual causing harm will shift the blame onto the other person through petty excuses such as "I’m joking." This is a very manipulative and psychologically exhausting situation to be in. Just because somebody claims to love you does not mean that they can never hurt you.
It is NOT your fault.
The sad reality is that they will never apologise to you, but you will apologise a thousand times over for being upset.
Please. Help me break the stigma.
It’s okay to not be okay.