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I’m just a nice person

By Pamela DirrPublished about a year ago 3 min read
Photo by Marija Zaric on Unsplash

I need to stop being nice to people. They take my kindness the wrong way. They read too much into my niceness. I want nothing more than to be just acquaintances or friends with people. But they try taking it to the next level. I don’t mind good conversation. I like good conversation. Actual conversation. Not idle chit chat. I don’t have time for idle chit chat. But don’t take conversation as anything more than just that. Conversation. Don’t read into my “hello, how are you?”

I don’t understand why people think I want more than just a platonic friendship because I’m being nice them. Stop it. Just stop it. If I wanted to be in a relationship, you would know it. It really irks me when men start sending me random messages that are of no significance. I don’t have time for it. And it creeps me out even more when men are married, and they just won’t leave me alone and they won’t even admit that they’re married. Seriously?!?!? What the heck is wrong with them?!?!?! I’m not into you. I’ll cut all ties with you.

I just don’t understand. If you’re married, then please, please, please, stop your weak attempts at trying to flirt with me. I’m not interested. If you want to be friends, fine. But don’t hide it from your wife. That’s just nonsense. A hidden friendship isn’t a friendship. I want nothing to do with you then.

I’m so sick and tired of the games that men play. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I’d rather have no friends instead of having a friendship that is based on secrets and lies. That’s not a friendship.

I don’t know what men are so scared of. I have guy friends who are married. I talk to them. I know their wives. I talk to them too. I’ve been to their houses. That’s a real friendship. But if you’re going to hide a friendship, or even just the fact that we talk – nope sorry – I’ll cut you out of my life so quick you won’t even realize what happened.

There was someone who I used to be friends with. Well, at one point he told me to never let anyone know that we even know each other. Seriously?!?! Wy?!?!? What’s the big deal? Well, apparently, he had a girlfriend and didn’t want her to know. Yea, um ok, goodbye. I don’t need you in my life.

There was someone else who I would talk to on a pretty routine basis. He’s married. He wouldn’t admit to me that he’s married. Why?!?! Why wouldn’t you not want to admit that your married?!?!?! I don’t understand. And then he started saying all these creepy things to me. Nope. Sorry, not sorry. But I can’t be friends with you if you’re going to be like that with me.

I’ve become an introverted extrovert because of years of this type of abuse. I know, you might not see it as abuse. But I do. I’d rather stay home and not have to get put into situations like that. It’s really put a damper on friendships. I’ve cut so many toxic people from my life because of all of this.

What’s the big deal about having friends? Men need to stop reading so much into a woman’s niceness. There’s nothing wrong with being friends. Just regular, honest, platonic friends. If all men are going to do is read into things, well, then I’d rather not have any more friends. I have a few female friends. I have my family. I have my cat. I have myself. I’m happy with all who I have in my life. I’m happy with those who are the real friends. Those who are toxic are not welcome.

I need to start choosing more wisely.


About the Creator

Pamela Dirr

I like to write based on my personal experiences. It helps me clear my mind. We all go through things in life. Good things. Not so good things. My experiences might also help other people with things that they might be going through.

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