don't know what to say

Don’t know what to say. I really don’t. I can cut a good promo on wanna be’s and selfish folks as well as cheating little boys. I can go deep when talking about the most impossible crush I got, o if only god gave me that 1 in a trillion chance to defy fate and to crash social media. I can talk about this and that, however here I am alone in my thoughts simply not knowing what to say.

God, thank you for the two jobs but if this is the trade-off then I don’t want either one of them, a matter of fact I’ll switch places with her. I’m supposed to belive you got this master plan going on but here I am questioning that plan. And as a disbeliever at times I must confess that I’m having a struggle with believing in your greatness. Now I’m stuck in a helpless state of mind questioning why you would take away the one person that meant everything to the person that means everything to me.

Mam, I’m not sure what to say here to be perfectly honest. All my peps know i can write a little bit pretty darn good but here I am questioning if these words are good enough for you. I know you’re flying high. Being that hummingbird that will always surround her. And may I take this moment to make a promise to you. I know I’ve been failing in these times, well to be honest mam, been failing for what seems like forever. However, I promise I will do my best to be there to put a smile on her face. To be there to do my best to listen and understand her ups and her downs. To be there to wipe away those sad tears and to do my best to make her cry some tears of joy. To be there when she needs a hug, a shoulder to cry, a shoulder to punch. A guy to call whatever she wanna call him.

I’ll make sure she’s ok but I hope you don’t mind if every once in a while I look to the skies and ask you for help, and ask how would you put a smile on that face we both truly love. I’ll do my best to make sure all her dreams come true, whether it’s a big or a small dream I shall do my best to help her check it off her dream list. I’ll make mistakes don’t get me wrong here I aint gonna try to be perfect since we know there’s only one person that is.

Dear God, why did you do what you did? We would like her back if you don’t mind, so please and thank you. Yea, I know that hummingbird will still be flying around here but it’s not the same. I’ll be in that church this Sunday praising you but please don’t be mad if I part of me just wants to see how many swear words I can say within one awesome promo. Or question if you do things for the only good reasons. Cuz as the night is black I’m over here thinking I can out swear sailors and thinking where the heck is the good reason from this.

Hummingbird, o hummingbird, Fly high. Fly as high and as far as you’re mightly wings wanna go, but hummingbird please don’t worry about her cuz she got a man that cares about her even if he slips most days and she got an army of helpful souls and least importance she got b pop, smartypants, the reason behind the “can’t fix stupid coloring” and the guy who should be asleep but wanted to write this up in your honnor….mam she has me. ,

Mam I know I am nothing compared to you but I’ll try to be 1% as good as you. If i ever go on the water again with the paddles i’ll make sure to call out for a life jacket and look up towards the sky and then end the night with a good old bottle of black cherry mikes. I hope i remember that correctly. thank you for making her into the person that I needed. Mam, I don’t know how to end this so I guess I’ll end it like this …. Just like your time ……. Simply unfished.