Does a Soulmate Make a Difference?

by Teela Hudak 2 months ago in love

Can you be happy without one?

Does a Soulmate Make a Difference?

Do soulmates exist? And if they do, does it make a difference if you are with yours or not? Relationships can be tricky to navigate and many people feel like they fail at them. Finding a lasting and fulfilling relationship can be tough. People also have a lot of different ideas about what a good relationship looks like. Some people feel that it's effortless with the right person while others hold that good relationships take work and effort over time to keep them alive. So which is the truth? If you find your perfect soulmate, does that make relationships effortless?

The Soulmate Ideal

Soulmates are considered to be a person's perfect and true match. They are the person who gets us, who we can't live without, and who will bring us ultimate happiness. We feel closer and more a part of our soulmate than any other person. We accept them and their faults without question and love them regardless. They help you break through your own limitations and challenge you to live your life to the fullest. They make you be a better person.

The connection with a soulmate is more than just a physical one. You feel connected on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level. Often people say they feel like they knew their soulmate before. They make you feel secure and protected and the relationship is more intense than any other you have ever experienced. There is a feeling of not needing limits with the person and being able to be totally open.

Many people feel that their mission in life is to find their soulmate. They feel that their life will not be complete without this connection and that they are not complete without this person.

The Soulmate Reality

Part of the problem with the concept of soulmates is that in many cases, we are wrong about a person being our ultimate match. This can leave people feeling disappointed, depressed, and alone. It can increase the feeling of frustration people have when dating. The thought of having a perfect mate increases the sense of pressure to find them for a lot of people.

Dating can already be challenging for many people. We are searching for a lot of things in a potential partner: sexual attraction, mental and emotional compatibility, common interests, common life goals, compatible spiritual beliefs, similar views on politics, and plenty more. We are already searching for a lot of things to come into line. If we place a lot of emphasis on searching for perfection on top of it, it can heighten our frustration.

Belief Can Impact the Relationship

Research has shown that people who believe strongly in soulmates react differently in relationships than those who do not. It can impact the course and final outcome of the relationship in an entirely different way. If a relationship experiences any conflict, people who believe strongly in soulmates are more likely to give up on the relationship quickly. They believe that the conflict is a sign that the partner is not their perfect mate and spend more time debating if they should end the relationship.

Conversely, people can also compromise themselves and their lives in pursuit of the ideal. If a person believes another to be their ultimate match and soulmate, they can end up tolerating all kinds of abuse that they would never have, or should have, experienced. It is tolerated because of the belief that their soulmate should be accepted without question.

Don't Lose Your Head Over Love

Love is undeniably one of the greatest things we can hope to experience. We all want to find our perfect mate, someone who we can really be ourselves with. There is nothing wrong with putting your energy into finding that person. You can choose for yourself how important that pursuit is for your life but don't let it dictate your ultimate happiness. Your happiness is not dependent on finding or not finding that perfect match. You don't need someone to complete you, you are a whole person already on your own.

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Teela Hudak

Teela is a Vancouver-based Sex Educator & Relationship Expert. Learn more at:

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