Discovery

Their romance may have been cut short, but their love would certainly be everlasting. That was what she knew with certainty in what she learned was a capricious world.

He tried beyond his best to give them each as much normalcy as any ordinary day could hold, but nothing could quite extinguish that lingering sense of the unknown. It is unearthing to live in only fragments of one's dreams, carefully sifting through the bits and pieces that fill the day. Serving only the desired slices; leaving all the rest to rot.

She looked aimlessly around the dining room now thinking how funny he would find it all. Crusted casserole dishes and partially eaten platters haphazardly covered the old, oak table where he used to meticulously sort, label, and catalogue his work.

Would the cherry pie go under "C" or "P" ? , she almost giggled projecting his response!

Once the house was empty of the well -wishers and good intention advisors, she sought the solitude of what was once their room. Their sacred space. It was within these four walls that they vowed to only speak in happiness, and practice only acts of love. Anything beyond this should be left outside for the "birds to peck at", he would say.

She collapsed onto the bed, sinking into the white cotton spread that they had so often found the pleasure of one another under. The tears flowed willingly now without interruption, without consoling. She was free to feel the rawness of her reality. She felt a pang of guilt for not leaving it for the birds to peck at, but she knew he would understand. Only he could understand.

They had cleared the room a week ago of all his belongings in anticipation of this day, to ease the transition, they had said. Both avoiding the word.

She knew now though that no amount of cleansing could rid this room...this world... of his presence. The scent of his cologne lingered in the air. She breathed it in like pure oxygen, feeling light-headed. The tinge from a Marlboro burn on the corner of his nightstand stared back at her like a cinematic cyclops. A softly matted half-footprint marked the carpet on his side of the bed. She let out a deeply held in sigh. Everywhere she looked was a reminder of his life with her.

She swore she could even hear his incessantly cheerful humming. She smiled at that and wiped the blurriness from her eyes. It was then that she caught a glimpse of scattered items atop his wardrobe.

She leapt up to investigate, finding a pile of pictures along with his favorite camera. His Kodak Bantam HF. The little art deco camera is how she always referred to it whenever he would ask her to, grab the camera babe. She anxiously examined the prints one at a time. Slowly. she realizing that they documented their year together! Each print marked on the back with a date and an exaltation of the happenings depicted in the photograph.

He had taken the time, his precious, valuable time, to pen silly musings about each pictured scene. Tidbits to ignite her memories of him.

Her heart pounded with an amalgam of emotions; joy, fear, longing, contentment, rage. The memories hit quick and hard leaving her simultaneously thrilled and ravaged.

The last picture was of the cemetery and it read, “My camera. Your camera now, is loaded with a clean roll of film, my darling. It’s time for you to make new memories. Go and see the world through my eyes. I’ll be waiting for you on the other side. Love Everlasting.” A shape of a heart encased their names – John & Maria

<3 KC