Dear Young adults, please give older folk a break

I will be 63 on my next birthday and unfortunately am turning into my grandmother. She would be attempting to say one thing and something absolutely different would come out of her mouth. She would call my brothers and me by the names of our cousins and become so frustrated she would smack her hand against her leg and say "Oh sh*t. I am now dealing with the same. I was at Burger King this morning and my grandsons asked for Hash browns. My granddaughter told me she wanted French toast sticks but when I was placing the order I said "A five piece" and French toast sticks would not come to mind. Thankfully the person taking my order knew what I wanted and finished my sentence for me.

This short term memory loss is common for menopausal women and now because of changes in society we have even more to stress over regarding terms related to gender. Young adults, please keep in mind that folk like me have lived 6 or 7 decades only using the words male and female, boy and girl. We were taught in English class that "they" is plural meaning more than one person. It is never my intent to offended anyone but trying to learn new terms such as pansexual, and nonbinary etc. is a lot to process.

In decades gone by, no matter what a person felt in their heart or brain, if they had a penis they were a male and if they had a vagina they were a female. We older heads understand that times are changing but give us a break. we may slip up so don't be offended. Hearing the term "Assigned gender at birth" seems an oxymoron because in our day your gender was determined by your anatomy and not assigned. Please forgive me if I sound unsympathetic to your cause but this is confusing.

Today on THE TALK the hosts were discussing Demi Lavato deciding to use the pronoun. "they" yet the hosts kept referring to her as a she. Until now Demi has been a woman so this will take some getting used to. I grew up in a time where we used sir and maam as a way to show respect when addressing older adults but now I guess those words will become obsolete.I would never desire to offended anyone by calling them Mr. when he is identifying as a female but how am I to know in advance?

I saw a young lady at the grocery store who grew up named Kristina and I addressed her as such. I was later told she is transitioning into a man and wants to be called Kris. I will do my best to remember this and hope I will not mess up but I probably will. This is why I ask young adults to consider that all of this is new and different and do not automatically assume that someone is purposefully ignoring your wishes.

I have a relative who was a school teacher who was verbally and physically attacked by a student because he called this individual by the male name that is on the records. This person was angry because he now identifies as a female and wanted the teacher to call him by a different name. Please young people do not be so eager to conform others to your new way of identification that you forget this really is difficult for many. It actually is a culture shock for those who have only used the terms male and female, he and she,and homosexual and heterosexual all of our lives.

In your exuberance, to boldly be you, remember that not everyone can catch on so fast. It's one thing to fill out an application and give your chosen pronoun, or to announce it to the world if you are a celebrity. In the everyday scheme of things, no one can tell by looking at you what it is that you desire as a pronoun. Please cut us some slack if we get it wrong because this will take time for many. This is especially true of menopausal women who walk into a room and forgets why she (or they) went in there. I applaud everyone for wanting to speak their truth and thank you for listening to mine.

Everyone is trying so hard to be politically correct and not offend anyone that I suspect there is fear of addressing this issue as I am, No one wants to be misunderstood and come across as insensitive or intolerant. The truth is that as humans we are going to do just that even inadvertantly. I am not talking about those who make sarcastic statements on purpose but individuals like myself who simply cannot do much better, at least not yet.

Consider please that once upon a time those of my race were called colored, then Negro, black, and now African American. Imagine the pandemonium if some still people of color today wanted to be referred to as colored, others Negro, a few black, and even more African American? How would you know by looking ar darker Americans which label to use? Looking at my Vocal bio right now you probably assume that I consider myself African American. Suppose I cursed out anyone who called me black and said they should understand I want to be known as Negro,(which I don't).

My mind takes me in all kinds of places on this subject such as what happens when the police find a deceased person? They are going to identify the individual based on whether they look male or female because at first glance there is no way to realize anything else. I feel like a lot of us will be walking on eggshells trying to learn these new normals so again, please give us a break. I was just told by my grandson that he has demi-gender friends who identify as a girl one day and a boy the next.

This is all confusing and overwhelming to those of us who had never heard of such things before. I can recall people who grew up being taught the N-word and they had a hard time saying Negro, or continued to refer to black people as colored. They were called racist when they said they were trying to adapt to something new and now I understand. There will be people who refuse to accept changes and that is a part of life. Just please remember that some of us are doing the best we can. You may believe it is as simple as just do it but actually, for many, it is not, but they will pretend.