Dear Twitch

Dear Twitch,

I used to watch you on Ellen all the time. You seemed so happy and fun loving. But I totally understand that was the part you had to play. You had to act like everything was okay. You had to act like you were okay and you had to act like the voices in your head weren't there. It's exhausting. It's exhausting to play a part that everyone expects of you. Isn't it? It wears on you. But perhaps this is part of a bigger conversation we all need to be having. That conversation is about Mental Health. I mean sure you were funny and dancey on Ellen and made millions of people smile. But we need to understand that that was a job for you. That wasn't your whole life. I'm sure you and Ellen were great friends. But she wasn't your whole life. My point is we need to have a conversation about mental health and suicide. We need to check on those we care about and realize that what we are being presented with isn't always the truth. Maybe we're all acting? Maybe it's just a part we feel like we have to play. It's tiring isn't it?

I'm not saying you didn't have moments of joy, but I think we all need to understand that Mental Health is NOT a joke. It's a serious issue. And I hate that when everytime a celebrity dies of suicide we always say we need to check on those we love and we need to stop the stigma around Mental Health, but alas we never do. We just mourn for two weeks and move on. I'm also sorry to your family. I'm sorry you lost a father, husband and a friend. I'm sorry you'll never get to see what joy your dad brought to the world. I'm sorry you lost him to something so ugly. I'm sorry he'll never see you grow up and get married and have kids if that's in the cards for you.

I'm sorry that this happened. I hope that we can all have a conversation about Mental Health and finally stop the stigma. It's way to overdue. We've been dealing with this for years and it needs to stop. Mental Illness is not a joke. We've lost some amazing people to it both in and out of the spotlight. It's a raging epidemic. That needs to stop. Why does this keep happening? I know! Because nobodies doing anything about it. I'm sorry to sound harsh but it's true. I was always a huge fan of yours on Ellen, but I know you did other things as well. I'll always look at your tik tok for a good laugh, I'll always watch clips of you on ellen for a smile. You made lots of people smile. It's a shame you weren't smiling yourself. I'm sorry that you lost your battle to the shit head that is mental illness. I'm sorry that we still can't wrap our heads around the fact that this isn't a joke. I'm sorry that the world doesn't seem to understand. I know that sounds really lame right now but it's honestly all I can think to say. I've been there, I've had moments where I wasn't sure of anything. I've had moments were I wanted to not live. But this isn't about me. It's about all the people who've lost people to suicide and that the stigma still reigns on like a bad plague. I wish it wasn't there. But sadly for no reason at all it is still there.