Dear Diary 2021

March 1, 2021,

“Have a great day babe!”

“You too!”

I give him a big embrace. We stop and I look him in the eyes. I try to burn this look into him. The disgust, anger, and hatred. My heart shrinks down ten more sizes. If it shrinks one more time it’s game over. He looks back at me and sees his obedient, heaven sent wife, and the mother of his children. He sees love shooting out of my pores. How could he be so blind? Those weren’t hearts, they were flames. I smile at him. On the inside, I am cackling like the wicked witch of the East. He sees an angel radiating her light. There’s a battle between good and evil brewing inside of me. Evil is in the lead. I step on my tippy toes and press my lips against his. My light is radiating in him. The dim light in my heart, extinguishes. Everything has gone black!

I am crawling on the floor, looking around.

“Where is it?” I think to myself.

I am frantically looking for it. Reaching my hands on every inch of the floor. I see a glint of light. I found it! I found my heart and it still has one last drop of light. I carefully hold my heart in my hands and look around. It’s pitch black and I can’t see anything. It is so hot in here! I hold my heart in one hand and reach my hand out. I hear hissing all around me.

“What was that? I gulp.

The hissing gets louder and louder. The hairs on the back of my neck are raised. I smell ashes from a wildfire. My mouth is dry.

“Ahh” I felt something rub against my leg. I look back and forth in the dark. Then I feel something against my torso. It squeezes tighter and tighter.

“Ssss” I hear a whisper in my ear.

“I’ve got you now!” The whisper is loud in my ear.

The light to my heart flickers out. It is pitch black.

I scream.

“HELP ME!”

Just then a beam of light shoots out of my heart. I look on in horror. I am blinded by a white light. I shield my eyes. Then my eyes start to adjust to the lightning. Then I see him.

He’s wearing white linen shorts, Air Max Jordans, and he doesn’t have a shirt on. He is wearing a smile that reminds me of 101 puppies. I’m still shielding my eyes. He notices and says.

“Tiffany, I am so sorry!” He reaches out and touches my hand. When we touched a choir of angels appeared. They were boy toddlers of every color. They started singing Speak Now by Leslie Odom Jr. My jaw drops at the sight.

“Hi! I am Mike.” I look at him confused.

“I said, Hi! I am Mike” I still have a puzzled look on my face. I stare at Mike and then back to the choir. He stares at me, as if he is studying me. He looks back at the choir and laughs. He puts his hands up and shoos them away.

“Sorry about that, like I was saying, Hi! I am Mike.” He grabs my arm and helps me to my feet. The choir comes back and starts singing The Ocean by Joseph Solomon. He turns his head and looks back at them.

“Cut!”

One of the angels comes over and he looks exactly like Mike.

He whispers.

“Father, you told us to do that everytime you two touched.” Mike gulps and sweat beads appear on his forehead.

“Not now Junior!” Mike says between his teeth.

“Please take 5, son!” He stares junior in the eyes.

“Okay everyone! Snack break!”

The kids run to a kitchen that appears out of nowhere.

Mike turns and puts his hands behind his back and rocks back and forth.

“You didn’t hear any of that, right?” He asked nervously.

“Oh no, I didn’t see or hear anything! I’m just trying to process what is going on”

I look around and this place looks like the inside of my house.

“Where am I?” He forces a cough.

“Ummm, let's just call this place Hawaii.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“Okay” I shrug my shoulders. I start scanning his face. I swint and then my eyes get big.

“Are you Michael B Jordan?” I squeeze my heart and it shoots out a flashing light. It flies past his head.

He ducks.

“Hey careful with that! It’s precious!”

Umm did Michael B Jordan just say that my heart is precious? I shake my head in disbelief.

“Yes, Michael B Jordan is one of my names but I go by different names.”

I look at him confused and I shake my head.

“What is going on?”

“I was called here to rescue you”

“Huh?” Confusion is painted on my face.

He gets closer and whispers in my ear.

“You did scream for help right.”

He is so close to me that I can smell his cologne. Mmmm he’s wearing Bleu De Chanel. My heart starts beating fast in my hands. Heart shaped clouds start shooting out. Mike ducks but a cloud lands on his cheek. Then a different choir appears behind me. It’s toddler girls of every race, that look just like me. They are singing Love Somebody by Rotimi.

I turn around and stare at Mike with a blank look.

“What is this?” I ask him.I grab his shoulders and they sing louder. He starts yelling over the singing.

“You have to tell them it’s snack time!”

The singing gets louder and louder. I turn around and yell.

“Snack Time!”

They all stop at once.

“Thanks Mama” They say in unison.

I turn slowly to Mike and look at him with wide eyes.

“What is going on? Could you please explain something to me!!??” I throw one hand up.

“I will give you the information soon. But first you have to rest.” Then he pulls me in close and kisses me.

Fireworks start flying out of my heart. I open my eyes and his eyes are still closed. He bites on his bottom lip. His gold cross dangles from his neck. He opens his eyes and looks at me.

“ I will find you.” He whispers.

I take a deep breath in.

Then I wake up. It’s pitch black but I can see the red light from the smoke detector blinking. I look over, he’s laying next to me snoring. I grab my phone and go to the restroom. I look in the mirror and scan my reflection.

Hmmm, I don’t look like I am crazy. That dream felt so real! I shrug my shoulders and pick up my phone. Just then, my youtube notifications pop up.

“New, Michael B Jordan Interview on GMA”

“Check out! Speak Now by Leslie Odom Jr.”

“New Release The Ocean by Joseph Solomon.”

I look up from my phone and back into the mirror.