Dating Apps For Gay Men!

Dating in the Gay Community is a thing that exists. I know, if you bring it up in a conversation people will look at you as if you grew eight heads. It’s believed by many that Gay Cis Men are just promiscuous beings who want to have sex and then leave when they’re finished; but the truth is, there are Gay men out there who want to date.

There are Gay men who want that fairytale romance that made Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks tolerable in the early 90’s.

Yet, when we-as Gay Cis men- try to find that romance the question remains: Where do we turn to find love?

The club? Sure that sounds like fun but are you going to meet guys who want to find their Mr. Right or their Mr. Right Now?

The gym? You’re most likely to find closeted men, men who just use other men for blowjobs or actual straight men.

On my way to school/work/the store? Eh, you can’t guarantee you’re going to find a Gay single man as soon as you step outside and flirting with straight guys might boost some of their egos but it can be harmful since straight guys aren’t too comfortable with Gay men flirting with them.

So where can a Gay man find love in 2020?

Dating apps! I know you’re probably reading this and laughing but it’s true!

Dating apps aren’t as bad as some people make it seem, you actually get to have genuine connections and conversations with guys that doesn’t include “Are you a top or bottom?” or “Can you host?”

As an introvert who is worried about being rejected in real life because I don’t look like a muscle Gay (which seems to be what Hollywood assumes all Gay men look like) I strive to use dating apps because the rejection is less of a blow and quite frankly it’s easier and convenient for me.

I am going to tell you about the apps I use, whether they are worth the download and whether they are LGBTQ+ friendly. (This list will not include Grindr, Scruff, Adam4Adam or any other apps that are used-not created but used- for hookups.)

* OkCupid:

This app is LGBTQ+ friendly and proudly includes orientations like Pansexual, Demisexual, Asexual, Sapiosexual etc, to make sure the user is able to identify themselves without being boxed into the normal LGBT options.

On this app you can upload 10 pictures of yourself so always try to be original and use this opportunity to share a bit of your personality in whatever pictures you choose to upload.

What I really love about this app is the fact you can write about yourself in more than 250 words! This is important for me (not solely as a writer) but because it makes it easier to tell potential matches who I am and why I’m on this app. Now keep in mind, many people will match with you solely based on your pictures because they didn’t care to read your bio.

The matching is based on questions, these questions include Yes and No answers and then a section that is titled ‘Importance’ where you label if a potential match’s answer to a certain question, is a deal breaker.

For example, “Do you smoke?” I answered that as ‘No’ and I put that a ‘No’ answer from my potential match is important to me because I don’t smoke and the last thing I want to do is bore him because he’ll be smoking alone. This will cause the app to match me with guys who are non-smokers.

The app works by having the user swipe right or left on a potential match.

Now, this app does have a pay wall which hides anyone who matches with you, but by swiping left or right, you’re bound to find that match if you swipe right on them.

* Tinder

Now this one surprised me but I do enjoy my time on this app.

This app is very limited on anyone who isn’t just LGBT. If you’re Asexual, Demisexual, Sapiosexual etc, you’d have to include that in your bio (limited words). You can upload 9 pictures, add in your profession, school, etc. It’s not as precise as Okcupid but you’ll just have to rely on your gut whenever you swipe left or right and up for Super like!

For a monthly membership it’s $9.99 but if you want to be a gold member and see your matches it’s 5 dollars extra. The Boosts are $6.99 as well. The boosts lasts about 30 minutes where you’ll appear on everyone’s feed and they’ll decide if they want to swipe left or right.

The downside about this app is the fact that not many guys will fill out their bio so you have no way of knowing what their preferences are until they match with you and you both start a conversation.

This app does have a pay wall that will give you unlimited likes, give you boosts as well and will tell you who your matches are.

There are guys I’ve matched with and planned dates with…but I’m still waiting to hear back from them…(cue Jeopardy music).

I did enjoy the mini game event they had every Sunday. During this game a video plays and you’re a character immersed in Los Angeles where you and your friends are gathered to watch a meteor shower but then there’s a warning that tells you the world is about to be hit with a huge asteroid that will destroy everyone! You get to make decisions that impact the ending of the episode as well as your survival and when the event is over, Tinder matches you with others who made the same choices as you.

I’m impatiently waiting for season 2!

* Chappy

This was an app that I saw an ad for on Facebook last year and thought “Why not?”.

The app was 100% free and there were no pay wall! Unfortunately, this UK based app for Gay and Bisexual men, just merged with Bumble and now Chappy is over.

RIP Chappy.

* Hinge:

This is an app I saw a commercial for. Have you seen the commercial? It’s the most craziest and saddest thing. There are various couples out on dates, a little cute monster (shaped like the letter ‘H’) is following them, and then the monster is killed off!

This is because the tag line for this app is “Hinge, the app meant to be deleted” because they believe once you find your match you two will delete the app and ride horseback into the sunset (proudly knowing you killed the little ‘H’ monster).

This app is definitely a huge departure from the other apps mentioned above. Again, there aren't huge choices other than LGBT preferences. You don’t swipe left or right on anyone! For some reason you like either their pictures or their response to a prompt. Weird choice. Once you like that person you can send them a message or just let them make the first move if they match with you.

It’s a cute tactic that has worked. You get to upload about four pictures and there is NO bio! You just have to fill in three prompts with a limited word count of 150 characters and pray to God that is enough for people to match with you.

There is a pay wall for you to get unlimited likes, set advanced preferences and get to see all your matches in one column.

I’m using the free option and so far I have no complaints.

It should be noted that no matter if you use an app, speed dating event or any other means to put yourself out there, it will not protect you from the blatant racism and homophobia that can sadly be found within the Gay community. (Phew! This is gonna p*ss off a lot of people but I’m spitting facts here.) But as long as you stay true to who you are, you will survive this crazy dating world!

If you are using an LGBTQ+ friendly dating app that I haven’t mentioned, follow me on Twitter @CrazyEddyBee and tell me all about it!