Damaged

She's damaged, but she's a keeper. She needs to be loved a little differently, reassured a little more. (Unknown Author)

Most men think that just because a woman is damaged, she is not a keeper, but this type of thinking is why so many good men mess around and miss out on the good women in this world like myself. Now I will be the first to admit that I am damaged in my life in some places but not all places because I have learned how to forgive myself first for all the bad things that have happened to me in life and most of the issues that I was having were not at my own hands. I have a wonderful man in my life now who has and will always be my supporter and biggest fan. Is he perfect? Of course not, but he is created for me, which is all that matters to me. No, we did not sprinkle some magic dust on our relationship. We had to go through many different things for him to see the real me. Broken, betrayed, mistreated, not being able to trust others, let alone myself, being insecure because others are insecure with themselves. All of these things would make any other person fold in life and give up but not me. Yes, I need to be loved differently because my past trauma has shaped me to love others differently. Knowing this about myself doesn't make me an evil woman. It just lets me know that I am no longer in denial about my reality anymore. Yes, I need to be reassured a little more than others because if you want to keep me on the same page as you, you have to do these things to grow and accomplish great things together.

I know the average man would think that this is too much work for them, so they would rather not bother and find someone willing to let them get away with things, but I am not that woman. I am the woman that will teach you how to love me the right way, so this way, you know upfront, and there are going to be no excuses on your end telling me that you didn't know how to love me. In other words, if you want me to treat you like a king, you have to start doing kingly shit, period. I know I have a good man now, but I didn't back in the day, and it messed my whole head up for years. I started dealing with issues from others that were never meant for me to even deal with because it was their problems, not mines.

All good men want their women to be strong and independent but trust and believe me when I say that I will be holding you accountable for what you say to me because I am looking to build something here. It isn't just some fly-by-night kind of thing with me, and I will be that woman that supports you in any way that I can, but you first have to understand that you have to earn it. I am not going to be giving out free passes to my magic kingdom to just anyone. If you can pour goodness into me and bring out the best version of me as possible, then it will be an automatic thing for me to do the same for you because, by nature, this is how I was and am created.

She's damaged, but depending on who she is on the inside will let you know if she is a keeper or not.

Most men think that just because the woman has a pretty face and nice figure makes her qualified to be a good woman, well I have some sad news for you men if her heart is ugly on the inside, her outer beauty won't mean a damn thing.

She needs to be loved a little differently because of the trauma she has been through in her life.

I know I come from trauma, but I also know that I have found a man who took the time to meet me at my current pain level to heal appropriately. None of us are perfect in this world, and sometimes you have to step outside of yourself to see if the person that you are trying to build a future with is for you or yourself. I know what it is like to be damaged in your mind, body, and soul, and this is no place to be for anyone.

She needs to be reassured a little more because she is coming from a broken place, so she doesn't have time for foolishness.

Yes, I need to be reassured a little more because of the past pain I have had to overcome. It doesn't mean that you have to change who you are as my man to get the good out of me. All you have to do is be yourself, and the rest will follow if you are a good man. I am not the type of woman who will check your phone to see if you are entertaining other women because I know that first and far most you came from a woman, so there will be other women in your life. I want to think that if you are in love with me like you say you are, your actions will show me more than your words. No, don't get me wrong, all women love being told that they are beautiful, intelligent, funny, and all the other fluffy words that are going along with this, but your actions are what I am looking at most of all.

I am not going to chase you because I am the prize in my world, so if you step to me, you better come correct because if not, I will be gone. In closing this piece, I need to say that it took me over twenty years to find out the value and worth that I have already inside of me, and finding this new version of myself was not an easy road. It took a lot of heartbreak and tears to develop my newfound freedom in myself. It also took my strong black man to help me get there. No relationship is without issues, but it is what you do that will tell you if that man or woman is right for you or not.

I don't have time for the foolishness of others who will give me king materials. If you want me to provide you with king status, you have to offer me queen-like things. You have to be able to stimulate me mentally first before anything else. In other words, be my friend first, and if you see that my crown is a bit off, then this is the time for you to step up to the plate and show me what kind of king you are.